OH HOLY PARENTING!

     It cracks me up that I was so refreshed and just loving being a parent on Sunday and here I am at the end of Tuesday having  been through a world of emotion in complete relation to parenting.  I mentioned before that we are seeing a new level of rebellion in our home with every child. As I have sought God for wisdom He showed me something new. My 3 may not choose to submit or our authority or God's. It was a totally new thought for me. Even if I did everything right (which doesn't and wont be happening, as I am a sinner) my kids are not a blank canvas to paint what ever I please. They are individuals that God has entrusted to me for a short time to care for and train in righteousness. Though they are trained with all the diligence God is giving us they have to choose it. Each one Troy, Bear and Abigail will and do each day choose for themselves to obey or disobey. This new perspective was lighter and heavier. Lighter because if I obey God in my training I can trust and rest that the outcome is between Him and each kid. That would be the best place to stay in my thinking. The part I am struggling with is the reality that I could make this huge investment and they still have their own free will to reject the investment and Christ. AHHHH! I can't apply a formula to my kids and get what I want! I am not discounting the scripture that says train up a child in the way they should go and when they have grown they will not depart from it. I have seen fruit of our training and discipline. My realization has more to do with the fact that I am not painting on blank canvases and I can sin in my formulas all I want but it won't produce my desired out come. There is such freedom in no longer thinking that if I do A and B I will get C. I do A and B because I am commanded to and C is in God's hands!

     And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men. Col. 3:23

     We are cracking down on the first time obedience in our home and man its tough all around. I know its worth it and there has been much fruit in just 2 days with the renewed focus. Just tonight we sat at the table, Paul, Troy and I and discussed some big issues, some good some not good. As Troy went back to his bed were he has been for the evening and Paul went off to shower I laid my head down and cried. Cried because is was a crazy day with rebellion and consequences, cried because I have some new areas I need to trust God on with our finances, cried because circumstances were stressful all day (locking my keys in the car when voting) cried because I love my Troy so deeply and he is feeling the sting of making bad choices. This life is so full, so hard at moments and equally wonderful sometimes all in the same moment. I treasure these little years.  I also look forward to 7pm. when they all go to bed and I get Paul all to myself.

Of course God new we would be in the Sermon on the Mount in
devotions with the kids.
Such a good reminder that He takes such good care of the flowers
and birds and will take good care of me too.