EMS interview

    More news! Man, things are just happening rapidly. Paul got some word about the EMS job. Oct. 11th is his test and interview date. He will take a written and physically test and then have a panel interview. This job would be great in that it is a city job with benefits and he would be working in his desired field. Down side is the hour and a half drive to get to work. So we would love prayer. Thank you.

Swift Answer

OK, So I last posted about our upcoming joblessness on Friday.  We didn't even make it to Friday. Paul's supervisor approached him Monday and asked if he would like a 30 day extension on his contract!  His boss and the boss above that are so for Paul. Its a blessing. They understand that he is trying to get into fire full time and wanted to offer the month of work if it would help give him time to find another job.  Yes, please!  Tuesday Paul took his IFSAC2 test.  (If he passes it will enable him to apply to more fire jobs than he could with out it).  He felt good about it but wont get results for 2 weeks.  He continues to actively look for work. Wow Right! 
     Monday I was so blessed.  I was blessed that God provided.  I was blessed that I really hadn't waisted much heart and soul on worry (a new exciting thing for me) I was blessed that my man is willing to do what it takes to provide for us, Blessed!  Then Tuesday came.  Paul was gone for work, then gone for fire.  Wednesday, Paul was gone for testing and then home for a moment and about to be gone again for Fire again.  I finally broke down.  It had been building up.  I went from I can believe God to be good and good towards us with out knowing if we would even be in our house for another month to angry and poor me with in the span of a couple days.  I was sobbing at the thought of having to keep doing life the same way we have for the past year for another 30 days.   As I looked forward to the rest of the week and weekend that he will be at training for I calculated only a handful of family hours.  Often I'm fine doing what it takes while we don't have Paul around and then he's home for a couple hours and I waist it being depressed it isn't longer!  Down right stupid but so tough to break when its a habit.  As I fell apart in my self-pity my man scooped me up (it was nap time so i could actually talk).  He spoke truth to me.  Even though its tough at least its the same tough...we don't have to learn a new tough.  We know how to do this one.  If he was to get the EMS job in Louisville (no local friends we would not move right away and maybe not at all) it could be the perfect set up to get us through till then.  He proceeded to remind me what a privilege it is to get to stay home and raise our kids.  That I don't have to go to a job work and then come home and try to pour into their lives.  Oh how my heart lightened as he spoke the soothing truth and lead me down the path of thankfulness!  I am so thankful for my man and so humbled at the frailty of my humanity.  I am so thankful for all the hard and terrible that he and I have been through in recent years that has brought us to this season.  A season not of ease but of faith and endurance.  God is so faithful to continue to keep working on us!  To Him be the glory! 
     After the nap Paul had to go do his EMT thing so I decided to get the rest of us outside. We went to the park. The kids gathered treasures for their Dad and we even found a Luna Moth Caterpillar when we got home. Luna Moths are my fave! 

Treasures

He is good and good towards me

     My hearts desire is for this blog to edify the body of Christ.  I want the things I write about to be encouraging and cause you my beloved and prayed for reader to draw nearer to Jesus in your own walks with Him.  I hesitate to write about our life circumstance right now thinking it won't be encouraging.  Then is struck me.  This is real life.  I do want to share even in the very pivotal moments not just after.
     So here is were we are at.  Paul has worked a factory job for a year now.  He had a contract through a temp agency.  We have been so thankful for this job as it has paid all our bills and God has blessed us with other things like food and clothes so creatively.  It has been wonderful to have steady income after two years of a major lack of income.  Paul has one week left on his contract.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he is done.  Turn in the uniform and he no longer has that job.  He has worked diligently at applications and interviews all to no avail yet.  He is taking a test this Tuesday for fire qualifications that would enable him to apply for several fire jobs in the area.  He continues to search for work and is studying hard and progressing in his fire skills.  It has been a long year of getting up at 4 am. 6 days a weeks.  Many evenings he would come home shower and go right back out the door to get the EMS hours he need to put himself in a better position to be hire by a fire dept. We are physically weary.
     The exciting part is that we are peaceful as well.  Not every moment of the day but peaceful.  There is still joy and fun in our home.  God has gotten hold of our hearts so deeply on the issue of His goodness and goodness towards us that we are determined to trust Him in this extremely unknown time.  God is good.  His goodness does not always equal our comfort.  Our desire is to not hit another level of hard but we know that if that is what He allows He will also supply the grace we need to continue to worship Him in it.
     My prayer for months was, "God how do I know brase for impact."  With this job ending. His answer is FAITH.  Active faith right now.  Faith that believes God at His word and is willing to let go of EVERYTHING else. There can be no "else" in a walk of faith.  Just Jesus.  He is good and good towards me is something I have to say over and over right now just to get through the day.  I know I am wallowing in unbelief when I get angry.  Though this is an uncomfortable red flag for my family I am recognizing my flesh faster and pressing into the truth faster!  God has been so patient and gracious with me as I learn to trust Him.  To take God at His word affects everything.  For me it most affects my emotional consistency and stability.  I still struggle and that is when I cry out, "help my unbelief." And He does.  Some how, after I cry out (several times a day) He meets me, calms my fears and speaks His soothing truth. He is good and He is good towards me.
     So that's me and Jesus today.  Wanted to share while in the process before what ever happens next happens.  I pray for each of you that read this blog.  I pray that whatever trial or test is happening in your life that you will take God at His word and believe His love for you no matter what the world or your circumstances try to sway you other wise.  You are cherished and closely cared for by the One who renews and strengthens the weak.

Is. 40:27-31

Why do you say, O Jacob,
And speak, O Israel:
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
And my just claim is passed over by my God”?
²⁸ Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
²⁹ He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
³⁰ Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
³¹ But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Took the kids on a hike all morning so Paul could have a quiet house for study. 

Cheesy kids! 

Daddy Spider

Strike a pose! 

Even fungus is beautiful! Good one Lord! 

Me and the girl resting. While the boys pee around the corner. 

Loving not carrying anyone anymore! 

Never happier that when I'm out side enjoying God's creations, including our 3.

I couldn't resist!

The Frame

     I had seen on Pintrest people taking goddy vintage frames, painting them and putting a chalk board inside.  I love to make old thing new a beautiful.  I wasn't able to go out and spend any money on a frame.  When that happens I usually ask the Lord to provide.  He did!  I was driving in our neighbor hood and a family had a sign out that said "free." I pulled over and just as I did the gal put this ugly thing on the grass. 

I quickly snatched it up as my heart nearly burst from how personal God was being with me at that very moment.  He also provided a bag of Easter eggs and new mason jars as my kiddo's have been breaking ours lately.  Three things I had specifically asked God for and He gave them to me in this wonderful way. 

     I got right to work.  I picked out a color that I thought would look good in Abi's room and started spray painting.  Abi loved it just as much as I didn't with an approving, "petty Mom!" (pretty Mom)  It took me a couple of days of light layers of paint snuck in between my regular life duties.  I enjoyed every moment of the process. 

      Here's were all that I have been learning about Humility and Rest came into play.  I finished the painting and brought the frame it to hold up to Abi's grey wall.  I love grey and yellow together.  So did she.  Together we got excited about how "petty" it was.  Just then the frame slipped out of my hand as it hit the ground. The brittle plastic broke into several pieces.  In that moment my mind spun with thoughts.  The first of which was, why would You give me this thing making me feel so loved just to take it away.  My second thought was, OK this is when I choose humility and just accept the circumstance You allowed and don't freak out.  So I didn't freak out.  A normal response for me in a situation like this, because there have been plenty would have been, crying, discouragement, and figuring out how because I'm stupid it was all my fault.
     It took all of 5 seconds to have these thoughts and be surprised at my own lack of freaking out.  As I stood there stunned that my frame was on the ground in pieces and stunned that I was OK with it, my sweet 2 year old little girl said,"Broke Mommy, Broke."  I looked at her and sadly said, "Yes, Abi it broke."  A few moments went by and I hear her voice again, I looked up to see her with her head to the side, a concerned look on her face and these words, "sordy Mommy" (sorry Mommy).  That was it. That was what God was doing with the frame.  I still feel loved that I got it from someone giving things away on their lawn.  I thought the end purpose was to hang it in my daughters room but it wasn't it was for "sordy Mommy." She was so compassionate in that moment. God spoke to my heart right then and said, "you just saw what I see in her, now cultivate it."

      Now I have no idea how to cultivate compassion in a little girl but I am confident as I remember to ask God to show me that He will give me the wisdom.  I kept a little piece of the frame and hung it above her bed to remind me of the very specific quality that God showed me in here.  Its still disappointing to not get to finish my project and have that fun wall piece in her room but I would take what God did in me and showed me about Abigail over a Pintrest project any day.

Milk

This might be helpful if you have little people in your house that want to pour their own milk. I get one of these "kid milks" and its been a successful trick so far. When its empty I just refill it. Happy pouring!