ABIDE. REMAIN. STAY.: He is good and good towards me

My hearts desire is for this blog to edify the body of Christ. I want the things I write about to be encouraging and cause you my beloved and prayed for reader to draw nearer to Jesus in your own walks with Him. I hesitate to write about our life circumstance right now thinking it won't be encouraging. Then is struck me. This is real life. I do want to share even in the very pivotal moments not just after.
So here is were we are at. Paul has worked a factory job for a year now. He had a contract through a temp agency. We have been so thankful for this job as it has paid all our bills and God has blessed us with other things like food and clothes so creatively. It has been wonderful to have steady income after two years of a major lack of income. Paul has one week left on his contract. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he is done. Turn in the uniform and he no longer has that job. He has worked diligently at applications and interviews all to no avail yet. He is taking a test this Tuesday for fire qualifications that would enable him to apply for several fire jobs in the area. He continues to search for work and is studying hard and progressing in his fire skills. It has been a long year of getting up at 4 am. 6 days a weeks. Many evenings he would come home shower and go right back out the door to get the EMS hours he need to put himself in a better position to be hire by a fire dept. We are physically weary.
The exciting part is that we are peaceful as well. Not every moment of the day but peaceful. There is still joy and fun in our home. God has gotten hold of our hearts so deeply on the issue of His goodness and goodness towards us that we are determined to trust Him in this extremely unknown time. God is good. His goodness does not always equal our comfort. Our desire is to not hit another level of hard but we know that if that is what He allows He will also supply the grace we need to continue to worship Him in it.
My prayer for months was, "God how do I know brase for impact." With this job ending. His answer is FAITH. Active faith right now. Faith that believes God at His word and is willing to let go of EVERYTHING else. There can be no "else" in a walk of faith. Just Jesus. He is good and good towards me is something I have to say over and over right now just to get through the day. I know I am wallowing in unbelief when I get angry. Though this is an uncomfortable red flag for my family I am recognizing my flesh faster and pressing into the truth faster! God has been so patient and gracious with me as I learn to trust Him. To take God at His word affects everything. For me it most affects my emotional consistency and stability. I still struggle and that is when I cry out, "help my unbelief." And He does. Some how, after I cry out (several times a day) He meets me, calms my fears and speaks His soothing truth. He is good and He is good towards me.
So that's me and Jesus today. Wanted to share while in the process before what ever happens next happens. I pray for each of you that read this blog. I pray that whatever trial or test is happening in your life that you will take God at His word and believe His love for you no matter what the world or your circumstances try to sway you other wise. You are cherished and closely cared for by the One who renews and strengthens the weak.

Is. 40:27-31

Why do you say, O Jacob,
And speak, O Israel:
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
And my just claim is passed over by my God”?
²⁸Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
²⁹He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
³⁰Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
³¹But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.