Our Kids are PEOPLE!

     Duh! Right?  Our 3 are all under 2 years apart.  People often refer to that as stair stepped.  Not as close as some kids but still each time I was pregnant and having a new baby the old one was still a baby himself!  "Old one" hahah.  Anyways.  I have been a parent for 7 years, so long and so short at the same time. All my babies are now self sufficient little people.  They dress themselves, feed them selves, walk themselves, go to the bathroom all on their own and many more things that they used to need me for. 
     So recognizing that my babies are people has been a gradual becoming more natural as they act like little people and not just pooping, creaming adorable blobs!  God has challenged me lately with a very simple but profound scripture application shift.  That was a mouthful.  Basically He has challenged my perspective on my kids and the bible and how they interact.  I have read and applied God's word for years but as I see my babies as people, so much more of scripture applies beyond "train them up in the way they should go!"  I no longer hunt for "parenting verses" the whole thing applies!  That's exciting. The first time I really got this concept  was this the scripture Galatians 6:1-2.  This morning I was in Col. 1 and  thought I would pass on what I found and how it relates to being a Mom or Dad! 

Colossians 1:28-29 ESV

28 Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29 For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that He powerfully works within me.

     OK, "everyone" includes my 7, 5, and 3 year old!  Our job is obviously to teach our kids but not just life stuff "life and godliness."  Here's were is gets fun toil means to labor, to feel fatigue, and work hard.  Parenting 101!  Struggling means to complete for a prize, accomplish something. So often we get confused as parents.  We think that our toil and struggle should end in the prize we want.  Well behaved kids that make us look good.  Such a shallow goal doesn't always get to the place that God wants to work.  God is interested in our kids hearts.  So we do the work, we toil, we struggle, we get real with God about our own sin and we infuse scripture into our own lives so that we can teach what we have graciously been taught.  When we first and consistently go to God about our own issues then He teaches us how to proclaim, warn and even struggle and toil well. He has it all covered.  God is all about our proximity to Him.  We can read all the parenting books in the world but if we aren't getting raw, real and close to God and staying there we will not have what we need to teach these kids to be mature in Christ one day. 

     So, that's it for now.  I'm sure I will come across another familiar scripture that I never thought to apply to parenting and be to excited about it to not share!  Blessings on your walks with God and parenting!  We can do this people He works in us to be sufficient for the job he has called us to! 

God has completely change my relationship with this one!
I'm enjoying who he is even in his less mature state! 

STRONG WILLED

     I have share in previous POSTS that I recently have come to my complete end in parenting.  In my pride I thought if that ever happened, if I threw my hands up and said, "I just don't know what to do!" the world might stop spinning.  Well I did about three weeks ago.  I gave up.  BEST THING I EVER DID! 
      Going into parenting I thought I was going to do such a great job.  I was the "good one" growing up and everyone said, "you'll be a great mom."  I would try to "humbly" say thank you but inside part of me was like, "yeah I know," and the other part of me was terrified of failing.  Quite the perfect storm in side me.  Well we had our first.  There isn't much of what I would consider parenting that first year just a lot of keeping them alive!  Right? Well, once our first born made it to the terrible 2's and wasn't so terrible that was it!  The part of me that "knew" I would be a great mom got puffed up and decided I was amazing. Then #2 was born.  From the get go things were different.  He was black and blue on arrival because he came out so fast!  Seriously.  When you refer to a boy as a "bruiser" that our second.  Started crawling at 5-ish months and ever since hasn't been to concerned with making sure I feel like I'm a good mom.  For a long while I have felt sorry for my self. Just being real here. Who did God think he was to give me a strong willed kid and messing up what I thought of myself. PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE.  God is so gracious to give us what He knows will be to our benefit. 
     Our second kid is 5 years old. I have gone to God most days of that 5 years and begged for help or complained but just in the last three weeks I have said, "what do you think of my kid." What is your perspective on this strong willed thing. He has answered here and there but just this morning I got a glimpse of something truly helpful. 
     

Romans 12:1-2

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers,[a] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world,[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

     GOD IS STRONG WILLED!  Seriously, track with me.  We are made in the image of God right.  The things about us that look like God if not surrounded are usually our greatest weakness as well.  Like, God is a God of order, I love to be orderly but if I don't keep that good characteristic surrendered to God it will turn into order-zilla!  There will be no room for mess, and all will be perfect all the time with no wiggle room.  My kid has a strong will.  So does his heavenly Father!  God has a good, perfect and pleasing will and we are so thankful for it even though we don't understand it all the time.  My kid has his Father's characteristic in this area.  That is a good thing.  What I GET to do as his parent is keep introducing him to Jesus so that he can one day surrender this part of how God has made him and God WILL use it for His glory.  Maybe this is really simple but its a perspective that helps me stay calm when in yet another battle over behavior.  The term "strong willed" just lost all its negative connotation that the world and even the church has put on it. 

    My prayer for my husband, myself and every other parted of a strong willed kids is that God would grant perspective in the little years.  That He would give His unconditional yet firm love for our kids to us and that we would parent more and more the way He does. 

PRESENT yourself = TA DA?

Romans 12:1

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

     I have read, memorized and taught this scripture for years!  So I would definitely classify it as familiar.  Familiar or not I love that God's word is alive and interactive with us because I have just been blown away by some sweet truth that I have never seen before in this verse.  Here we go! 

     Maybe it's because I grew up doing theater but when I have read this verse in the past and I get the "present yourself" part I automatically do a spiritual "Shave and a Hair Cut, Two Bits!"  If you don't know what that is its OK. Here is another example. Your kids makes some sort of craft runs into the living room glue still dripping excited as all get out an says, "TA DA!"  

I looked up the word present in the original language and guess what it means? 

PRESENT: to stand beside, offer, to be at hand

     What?!  There is nothing showy about that!  To "stand beside" is all about proximity and relationship!  It is not surprising that this is what God desires.  He says this to us over and over in the Bible. In my fallen nature I keep trying to substitute what He wants from me with what I want to give Him.  I would rather give him my holiness and my version of acceptable all wrapped up in a presentable package.  My problem is, not only can I not make myself presentable I can't even find the wrapping paper! 

    This is a classic example of how I often get the gospel inside out.  Its by Christ blood that I am holy (set apart) and acceptable...a work that has already been done that I get to accept not work for.  So what it my part in all of this.  To be near and stay there. When I draw near to God and he draw near to me I am now "at hand."  His hand.  The living sacrifice thing is covered because we all know the times we have stood near (abide in Christ, John 15) we are tuned in.  Ready an willing to fallow the lead of God Spirit.  As we draw near (present ourselves) we are at His hand.  The safest most secure place there is.  No wonder Paul appeals or beseeches us to present or get beside or loving Father.  He knew it was the best!  So then being a living sacrifice doesn't seem like we are giving much up does it? 

I don't HAVE to be at War!

Galatians 6:1-2

 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

LAW OF CHRIST: John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

     The scripture above has brought great freedom and change in my heart and in our home.  We have a strong willed child.  I have pretty much felt at my end as a parent for quite some time in my relationship with this one.  I feel like I can never get through to them and yelling louder only exacerbates the problem.  I have read a few amazing books with some really great and helpful tricks.  Books can be timely avenues that God uses to get our attention in a certain area but NOTHING will hold a torch to the Word of God.  It alone is alive and active and interactive with our soul and spirit.  So as I was getting excited about yet another book and burnt out on all the tricks of the last book my husband almost gently said to me, why don't you just read the bible.  If you know my man you know truth is his strong suit and mercy is one that is still being tailored!  He softened with me and said, Jess you were so excited about the last book and now your talking about a new book but I haven't heard much of what God has shown you from His word and implementing that in parenting.  BUSTED!  I asked him to give me a few passages he thought I should study.  He did and I did.  I continued to pray that God would lead me in His word for guidance on how to better parent, and specifically my strong one. 

     Our washer has been broken for a week so we have been at my Mom and Dad in Love's often.  I am so blessed to have one of the greatest bible teachers and heart's to disciple that I have ever known, for a Father in Love!  He challenge my thinking in a few areas and gave me some scripture to chew on.  They were the verses above. 

     It never dawned on me to apply these scriptures to my parent child relationships!  When I did I began to see that I don't HAVE to be at war with my kids and their choices.  I am the one who would be considered "spiritual" in the situation. Hahah. But really that just means willing to be lead by the Spirit and I am!  Not perfectly of course but that is my hearts desire and daily practice.  My job is not to just put up with my kids and dish out consequences because I have to train them up right, but to gently restore.  To teach them that forgiveness is always free but trust is to be earned.  My heart towards them is not just survival but humility, genteelness and seeking restoration.  If I am not careful I get sucked right into selfishness, impatience and what ever flavor of sin that runs ramped through our home with 3 immature kids under the age of 7.  Being gentle, seeking to restore and bearing their burdens doesn't mean that when they mess up there isn't correction that is most often uncomfortable for them.  It just means that even though God has given me the job to implement discipline that doesn't mean that I HAVE to be frustrated. So I have to ask myself,  "Am I willing to wake up and say Lord this is your day what now?"  Am I shocked when my kids sin?  As if any amount of raising them to do the right thing is going to take away their sin nature and desperate need for Jesus. God has really changed my perspective with these verses on my entire job as a mom! I hope this was encouraging to at least one. Happy Parenting! 

Just got a new bible. ESV Journal Bible. LOVE IT!