ABIDE SCRIPTS- Going out of Business!

 

     Thank you for taking the time to read this.  If you have bought an Abide Scripts painting I want to start with saying thank you.  I never would have imagined that I would have the privilege of doing something like this and I have been so bless with getting hear your stories and pray over you and the people you love.

     Painting was a yes to a prayer I spoke to God while taking the dog out.  I wanted to earn a little extra for my family as we were entering into the hardest financial season of our lives so far.  That season ended with us being homeless and then blessed with the nicest home we have ever lived in and my husband finally getting a full time position as a fire fighter.  Our budget is still not stable but my man puts in every extra hour he can and God has sustain us in unexplainable ways, faithfully this last year.

     Every family looks a little different. God has made it clear for our family that I am to stay home full time so as to keep the home, educate the kids, work out, and have energy to love on my man when he is home.  Paul and I agreed that painting scripture was a welcome add on to my other rolls. In the beginning we carefully set priority boundaries.  All of my rolls with my family were to come first and then I would paint.  I have fought hard this last year to keep these priorities straight.  It has been a growing experience.  By Christmas this year I was a little burnt out.  I still loved to paint but something was off.

    At the very beginning of January I sat down with the Lord and took a good look at my calling. Wife, Mom, Homemaker, Educator, Painter and so on.  God was so good to give me renewed and refreshed vision in every area but Painting.  I still wrestled with it for the last several weeks wondering what was up.  We just completed our taxes for last year and I could not have imagined what would happen!

     When we looked at the actually money profit of Abide Scripts over the last year and broke it into how much the family had extra a month it wasn't very much.  I painted something like 300 or more canvases and as far as money goes there wasn't much to show for it.  Owning a small business for me meant paying 40-50% in taxes.  (Now, remember I am only taking on an earthly economy level.  The real and lasting weight of getting to paint can not be measure with this worlds currency.  Not because I am anything but because God promises that His word accomplishes what He has planned for it. ) So, bottom line.  Its not worth it.  EEK!  I know.  I wasn't bad at being a business woman.  I didn't loose money.  But I am not going to raise the prices to make more money.  I absolutely do not want to paint more that 300 canvases a year as painting is like fifth from the top of my priorities.  So what do I do?
   
     As Paul and I sat on the ground in front of our couch looking at Turbo Tax the tears began to steam hot and steady down my face.  I went threw a whole gamut of emotion very quickly and one very powerful conversation with the Holy Spirit.

Me: Lord, this isn't worth it! I don't want all the stress of invoices, deadlines and so on! But how do I keep painting?! I WANT TO KEEP PAINTING!
Holy Spirit: Are you willing to trust me with everything "money" for your family?
Me: ahhhhhhhhh, yes.
Holy Spirit: I have not made you to be a business woman.
Me: OH GOOD! Cause it was really stressful and I want to give that part of me back to my family.
Holy Spirit: Paint for free
Me: Seriously! OK! How?

     He kind of left me hanging on the HOW to do it part.  But I came away from my encounter with the Lord over Turbo Tax with a million pounds lifted from my heart!  I don't have a passion to run a business.  I just didn't know any other way to paint.  Abide Scripts as a business was a perfect way for God to get me going on this adventure honestly it was a desire for "extra" that made me even ask and get the yes answer.  I had to trust Him SO much with every aspect of this business and was so very blessed in the process.  The money I did make was great and timely for our family but God is changing things up.  He gets to do that when its His thing to begin with.
   
NOW WHAT? 
     Now I try and figure out how to paint for free.  I want to keep painting.  I want you, my former clients to keep placing orders for God's word to encourage yourselves or the people you love.  I do need you to pay for your supplies.  I don't know if that means I keep them on hand you just pay for the the canvas at cost or if you supply me with your own canvas.  We as a family don't have the extra to pay for supplies or we would (maybe one day!).  I don't want you to feel weird about placing an order because you feel bad that I'm not making any money!  I do want you to consider yourself an extension of God's work through  His Abide Scripts.  Pray before you place the order.  Together lets get God's word up on the wall in a way that matches existing decor.   Lets keep customizing encouragement and color together for God's glory.
     Now one of the things I am so excited about is NO dead lines! I will do my best to get the scripture painted and in your hands but I will also enjoy the freedom to put my family completely first. YAY!
     I know this may seem totally backwards.  I JUST HAVE TO OBEY! Thank you for reading. Please pray for me and my family as we under go this change. Pray for provision.  That I could keep painting God's word for free.

What does Paul think? Easy, when I asked if he was ok with the whole thing he said he was ready to go this direction with it last year! OK! 

                                                His little girl,  Jess O'Brien

ARE YOU SUFFERING?

We naturally choose comfort over discomfort.  Would you agree?  Right now I am choosing the discomfort of whipping my body back into healthy.  I am working out 6 days a weeks, hydrating and eating better.  I don't want to.  Every single day when its time to work out I don't want to.  And every single day when I am done I am so excited that I did it.  Some days I only work out so I don't have to tell my work out buddy that I didn't.  Seriously! 
     This is a discipline that I am choosing and it it hard.  What about the disciple ( not necessarily because your in trouble) of suffering.  We suffer or go through crappy circumstances for so many reasons.  Some times it is because of our choices but a lot of the time we don't get to tag a reason on it.  I have several dearly loved people in my like with serious chronic health issue.   The kind that make suffering a normal in their lives. Some times we suffer because of the choices someone else makes and we are tightly knit to them through marriage, blood or friendship.  My family and I have suffered in past year as a result of things we couldn't control. 
     Just like working out and disciplining our bodies we know there is benefit to suffering. We know that God has so much to say about it.

 Like: James 1
2 Count it all joy, my brothers,[b] when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

And : Romans 5
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith[b] into this grace in which we stand, and we[c] rejoice[d] in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

     We have read, reread and even memorized these scriptures but to we believe Him.  Do we believe that we could ever get to the other side of the thing we could never imagine happening to us and be able to say God has worked this for my good and His glory just like He promised. 
      I just felt strongly that there might be someone that is going through something that they couldn't imagine would happen in their life and there you are.  In the beginning or the middle and you just need a reminder of the truth.  YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. GOD IS NOT LOOKING THE OTHER WAY. HE IS STILL GOOD AND HE CAN STILL BE TRUSTED. In fact if you are going to come out on the other end of your unimaginable you will NEED to trust Him with ALL your heart. You will need to forsake your own understanding and constantly check in with Him. He is the only one that can make a path straight in the midst of a storm. 
    You are love and God is still working on your behalf. Take heart today. Press into Him and even if you have no "feeling" to back it up..whisper out loud, "I TRUST You Lord." 

"YOU DON'T GET TO NEED ME!"

     I know that is a discussing title but stick with me because I think God is showing me something really rad!  Over the last two years we as a family have been through some difficult times.  NEVER to be compared to the difficult times of others.  Right?  Cause God is the sifter and allower of trials they are like poke-a-dots (that really is the root of the work trials in James 1) yet He has poke-a-dot grace to match each one in each life.  As much as we all wish the point of life this side of heaven would be ease and comfort.  And we each know that its not.  God's desire is that we know Him.  So we accept that the human experience can be very hard and we rejoice when we or others are having a hard break!  Right?
     We are having a bit of a "hard" break ourselves right now.  We are able to buy fabric softener! Such a perk!  My man is doing what he feels called to and getting paid full-time for it (firefighting).  I am doing what I am called to and learning to enjoy it (stay home and educate)!  We are so very blessed.  We still have to trust God for provision every single month but if you have been there you know that even though it it hard and scary at times this too is a blessing.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart...not something that comes with out practice.
     That was a long introduction to my current state today.  Over these trials with income and homelessness over the last 2 years God has of course refined my faith in Him and off the shifting sand of money, job or even living situation.  Its not perfect I still get sore some months from the work out of faith but MUCH better.  There is one other major area that God has been working in in my life. GRACE.  I am in love with this word concept and interaction with my Heavenly Father because of what Jesus did for me by grace.  As you know I do word art.  Even the shape of all these letters together ( G R A C E) worms my heart and makes me thankful.
     I have written much about grace.  I have written a few post on 2 Cor. 9:8 in particular.  Just the other day I felt the Spirit prompt my heart to look up.  Like at verses 6-7.  I am usually all about context but verses 8 had me undone enough for months!  I was surprised to find something very familiar.

6 The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully[a] will also reap bountifully. 7 Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

     No I have ALWAYS thought this scripture was talking about a money gift and giving with the right heart.  Don't get me wrong it is in context. But what if God intended for us to get a little more out of it?  Like can it be applied to the giving of yourself.  Regardless of how much your income is there are treasures each of us posses beyond finances. Our time, our health, our focus, our priorities, our attitude and so on. 

     I have 3 kids less than 2 years apart.  I have always stayed home with them and consider this a privilege, absolutely.  As privileged as I am, there have been times that my nerves are shot or all three decide to melt down all day long and I want to (or have) join them.   I have actually said to them out loud, "OK! No body gets to need me for 10 whole minutes!"  I promise the attitude of my heart was not setting "healthy boundaries." This defiantly doesn't convey the truth that they are are gift from God! 

    I love the connection of verse 7 to verse 8 "God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."  God has given each of us a good work.  Are we giving of ourselves cheerfully.  Are we giving of our selves propitiously (likely to have or produce good results), merrily, hilariously, and willingly.  Basically am I living my life on purpose towards others with love because I "have to" or because God has made me sufficient through His grace to do so in joy. 

     If you feel a lack of grace in your life...a great starting point is to just talk to the Lord and tell Him your wrong and you need Him. It is wonderful the grace and mercy that drenches you when those words are truly your heart before the Lord. 

     May we be filled with grace today that we can willingly and merrily do the things God has called us to because His grace paves the way! 

Right as I finished this I got a call from my sister for help, went into rush mode and was mean to my kids....So we are all works in progress! I told the Lord, I'm wrong told my kids I'm wrong and moved on in grace. Exhale. Imperfect progress!

2015

    Happy New Year! 

       Paul and I have never been big new year's eve people.  We spent last night cuddled up watching the second half of a moving we started that night before.  He is on shift today so that meant an early get up time (for him I slept in till 7 and loved every second).  I'm sick.  The kids are a little off their rockers with friends staying with us and a major dose of free time with 2 weeks off of structure.
      I have never been a set goals kind of person or a new year of resolutions.  I have always been pretty self motivated so a list of what to accomplish in a year? For some would be motivating for me would be pushing me close to a danger zone of legalism.
       Things have changed a bit.  2013 God revealed to me that I needed to walk in Grace.  I had no idea what that meant.  2014 He showed me and helped me take small but life changing steps out of legalism and into grace motivated freedom.  I find myself with a strange amount of white noise in my brain were there used to be a guilty voice saying your not good enough try harder.  I don't have to try. Anything done in a motive to glorify myself no matter how good is a waste of time.  I finally get it that the good works I am privileged to do are only made possible by God's intentional work in my life.  Yes I cooperate with dieing to self and obedience but He does the heavy lifting.   So what to do with the empty space in my head?  For a few weeks I have just been marveling that it was even possible for God to heal me of my need to please anyone but Him.  And now its time to replace it with His vision and dream for me.  Not calling...but vision within the calling.
     My calling in life is no mystery to me.  I am a wife, mom and get to paint not he side.  I am also a friend, daughter, sister and that random girl in the grocery store that will always strike up a conversation! Before all of that I am His little girl. I am accepted, beautiful and still always teetering on believe that truth.
     I stared reading a book by Jennie Allen called Restless.  Get it.  Its only $2.99 right now.  I have even been reading it in my morning time with the Lord! Gasp!  I know not just bible but a book! Not something I prefer but I was so lost on what to study and where to start!  My sister in love Shell and I talked about doing the Restless study but budget for us both said no.  I have been so blessed and challenge by this book so far.  In the first few chapters God has used His word that is woven throughout the pages to get at my heart.  He has dreams and vision for my life with in my obvious calling.

Acts 2:16-17English Standard Version (ESV)  

16 But this is what was uttered through the prophet Joel, “‘And in the last days it shall be, God declares that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh,and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams;

       That is the part that is lacking right now.  But if I want to hear it from Him I have to SURRENDER!  Oh that again.  Yes that...I think for our whole lives every single day!  I know I am called to be home full time.  With in that calling is the responsibility to keep the home well, meal plan, educate our 3 kids and have something of myself left over to love on my man when he is home! (this is just my calling not a list of what a woman "should" be doing).  I lost the love of it all somewhere.  Part of my lost love has been due to some very real hormonal imbalances that we are currently working with doctors on. (yay)  And the other half is being overwhelmed be cause I refuse to keep checking in with the Lord.  I can talk all day about Abiding in Him being the answer to all my struggles if I want but when the kids are melting down and I want to join them that is the time to check in.  Lord, how would you like me to handle this.  I promise in all the times I have actually checked in never once did the Spirit put it on my heart to flip out and scream just cause if feels good for a split second.  Never.
So Check in.  That is a goal for this year.

      God has also recently asked me (and by recent I mean this morning) if I am ready to die to myself in a specific area.  OK, Lord lets do it.  He is asking me to lay down my own opinion of myself. EeK! As ugly and hindering as my oppion of myself is, it is something else I love, comfortable and familiar.  God is asking me to lay down all my super over processed evaluations of myself and walk away.  Not only walk away but walk towards the dreams and vision He has for me. Also to rehearse His evaluation of me that is spelled out so clearly in His word. 

     I don't know what that vision is yet as all I was able to do so far is lay it down my old thoughts  and uncomfortably take the first step but I do know this one thing from experience.  When we are willing to die to ourselves or our evaluation of ourselves that doesn't lie up with God's thoughts towards us the result is life. I have tasted it and it is sweet. Freedom is more addicting that any other pleasure this world has to offer. We just have to take that scary step to die to ourselves first.

John 12:24-25English Standard Version (ESV)24 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

   
That's it for goals for my 2015:
Check in
Die to self
Write real letters once a month if not more
Choose Health (physically)

I am confident that these are goals in line with God's word and will for my life. I am excited to see how He works them all out and gifts me with vision, discipline, death/freedom, and guidance.

Me and my Sis Shell