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Monday, January 6, 2014

TRUST

     OK, as promised I'm going to be real.  I don't feel like getting up in the morning to do any kind of connecting with God.  It has been a few years since I have felt this way.  Our circumstances over the last years have brought me to a place of brokenness and desperation for God's intimate interaction.  I have enjoyed much of this intimacy like never before in my life and would not trade all the hard we have encountered for the places Jesus and I have gotten to go together.  I'm just not feeling it right now. My alarm goes off and I lay there.  Not even a hot cup of coffee is enticing.  I just don't want to get up and do another day.
     What have I don't about this dilemma?  I've gotten up anyway.  Many times by the sweet encouragement of my man reminding me that I need Jesus before the kids get up.  Even as I write this I am realizing that many a morning God has spoken to my heart even though I don't feel like hearing. Huh...Thank you JESUS!  So that is were I am at today.  I don't want to stay here for another moment. I have been meditating much on TRUST.  I have come to realize something from the very familiar and often glazed over scripture Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart lean not on your own understanding, and in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."
Weather I "feel" like it or not trusting Him is the KEY!  It's the key that unlocks everything I desire.  I desire to have peace even if circumstances don't get better.  I desire to forgive constantly the offences of others.  I want to love those closest to me with God's love.  To TRUST God is the key that unlocks these doors.  What is on the other side may not be an easier life but it will be one full of love, forgiveness, peace and ultimately please God as we know that faith pleases Him. 
     So I don't feel it right now but I am seeing God work around me and through me anyways.  Faith is not a feeling. 
     I was talking with my life long friend Trisha Goodman and she was getting so excited about what God is doing to prepare us for who knows what and recognizing that the training is intense.  It was a good perspective changer.  I don't want a change in circumstance (for us that would be steady income) to have any place of idolatry in my heart. I want to worship God weather I feel like it or not.  Every day.  I have to TRUST Him! 
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  1. Heather @ The WholeHearted WifeJanuary 6, 2014 at 5:46 AM

    Hi friend. Sorry I haven't commented much lately! I do read each and every of your posts, just don't always get to leave a reply. but today I was already thinking about writing to you, and then you posted this, so it was perfect. God kept bringing me to the word "abide" today, which of course makes me think of you. I started a new study this week on love, and this morning was reminded that I must abide, or always be in love. Man, I have NOT been abiding in love for my 2.5 year old. I have been scowling at her. I am taking to heart what you said about trust. I will choose to trust that God can change my heart, even if I don't see how. Okay, I would love to write more, but there are lots of things to get done. I too had slipped into not getting up early. Probably part of the reason I'm having so much trouble with Elizabeth. Today is the first day of our "new year" (hubby back to work after his vacation) and thankfully we have one day down of getting up on time. That's the hardest one, right? The first one? :) I will be praying for you tomorrow morning... though by the time I am up you are already long awake. LOL, maybe baby girl will wake me up at like 3:30am to nurse so I can pray. Hehe.

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    1. UnknownJanuary 7, 2014 at 4:04 PM

      Thanks Heather. Today was good. I got so sick of being depressed I just kept pressing into God's word and there has been break through! YAY! love you! Thanks for reading my post. It means a lot to me. love you

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