HOW DID IT GO?

    My previous post on Authority may have been misleading.  I would want my readers to think that we had this glorious time of teaching with the kids and then a perfect peaceful day after making our "Family Authority Chart."  I have every intention of being REAL with this blog.  So what really happened was this.  We made our chart, had a sweet time of teaching, did our chores with out any problems and then nap time hit!  We are in a transitional time with nap right now.  Troy (almost 5) and Bear (3) are to my dismay they are genuinely not tired most days.  This is a huge shift for a Mama who has had 5 years of a 2 hour break in the middle of the day.  I rise at 4am. with my man right now so by 1pm. I am physically ready to shut her down for at least an hour!  On the day I am share in this post I was ready to shut down and my boys were not.  We have a standing rule that you do not get out of your bed or call after the door closes.  Of course bathroom is used and all needs are met prior to the door closing.  I think I counted 8 times between the boys.  There were pop pop's given, privileges taken away and still I would hear the nauseating sound of the door creaking and my "down time being taken away."  A whole other heart issue for another post :).  I lost it.  I was so angry I told (well yelled) them they would stay in their beds till their Dad got home.  I said they would be getting more pops but I wasn't going to do it while I was so angry at them.

     My wonderful man gets home to the boys in bed, Abi screaming because she didn't get enough sleep from getting woken up from her nap early and a wife on the edge!  He was amazing.  He dropped his plans for going to the old house to paint and told me, "You are done with the old house I will finish it on my own, I am staying home this evening and you will not deal with the boys another moment." He was firm with them and so loving at the same time.  The balance of the rod and rich communication is so rad!  We don't always do it right but when we do its beautiful.  The Lord really knows what He is talking about in scripture!  Right!?  So, I am a mess at this point balling because I'm angry at the boys and them balling some more because I'm so angry at the boys!  Did you catch that.  I was angry at them then angry at myself for being so angry and a "bad mom."
     As a result of coming home to his family in a cyclonic storm of conflict Paul laid down some big consequences.  The boys had lost anything with a screen, (TV, video games, computer) Toys, Drinks with flavor or food that is sweet and they were not even aloud to play with out toys.  Not for the rest of the day that was only 3 more hours.  They were in bed until dinner and then back in bed time sleeping time.  This consequence was for the whole next day, with out the promise of it being lifted then next day!  EEEK EEEK EEEK!  In my emotional state I was wishing I had held it together because it felt like I got a consequence too!  I kind of did and I kind of needed it!  I went to bed that night feeling a bit hopeless.  How was I going to keep those boys busy with chores ALL day!  We do a lot together most day but not ALL day.

     Paul and I had some good talking and praying before he went to work on the ALL PRIVILEGES LOST day (yesterday).  He said, "OK, Babe I know it is difficult this time of the month but going from I'm going to kill my kids to crying over what a bad Mom you is a little much. Lets not high five balance as you pass it by. Can you do that please?"  "Blahahahahahah! Yes that will be my top goal for the day!"  Such a valid Hubby request.  I am so thankful for my man and the rock his especially during this crazy season.

     So how did it go?
 Well I'd love to say great but I will say, good.  It was a whole lot more work keeping them occupied with chores.  At 5 and 3 you can't just turn them loose with cleaning the garage!  We did however get so much done at the only house I'm to be working on!  If they were working they were sitting apart from each other.  A whole day of work or time outs!  Wow!  Troy got it and was almost excited to get on with the day of chores and constantly asked what he could do next.  Bear on the other hand didn't really get it until about 4 chores in and then Mom had to work on the computer and he couldn't go play. He would ball and ask why.  Because he is 3 I chose one thing that I wanted to change from the day before.  That was getting out of bed.  I would tell Bear this is because you got out of bed.  After a few more times of sitting in between chores he would just cry and say I will never get out of bed again!  I started to see some real brokenness by 11am!  So exciting!  At lunch Abigail put her peanut butter finger all through her hair so as I took her to the bath I told the boys to sit on the toilet till you poop.   A major excuse for getting out of bed. They did.  I got Abi cleaned up and in bed for nap.  As I closed her door I realized there wasn't a sound or motion from anywhere in the house.  I went in the boys room first to find my "Wild Rebellious Bear" all struggled in bed with his animals just so.  He look up at me and said, Mom I will not get out of bed."  I wanted to cry!  I kissed him and with out conflict left him to his nap.  Troy sleeps in mine and Paul's bed or plays with toys in our room which ever we are allowing that day.  Today was a sleep day.  Troy too was all snuggled in.  My kids slept!  I think Bear still needs naps but if he is busy thinking about how he can get out of bed he wont settle.
     After nap was good but a little more crazy.  We were all very done with the no privileges thing.  Troy and I had a good talk about finishing strong.  A talk I needed to hear as much as he did.
     Today the boys have earned their toys back.  Paul said he wants to see how hearts are with out giving back everything.  A wise move I think.  Bible study starts today so that is such desert for all of us.  I get to have God's word poured into me and they get to play with some of their favorite kiddos!
     So that's what we did this time and the blessings and struggles of it all.  If you are a parent let me encourage you this is not a job for the faint of heart.  We have to battle for our babies souls with the eminence love we have for them.  They need structure and boundaries.  It is a lot of work but wild undisciplined kids has got to be more work. We are in this together! Press on!

Oh this house will happen! One day