GIFT

I am currently sitting in the Louisville air port waiting for my Mom and brother to get here. There flight is an hour delayed so I have time to mentally digest 1 Corinthians. I listened to the whole book on the way down. I haven't listened to scripture in a chunk like that in a while. I love doing that because you get tje context of the entire thought behind scriptures that are highlighted by memorization.  Chapter 12 is all about the gifts of the Spirit. How they are GIFTS. I got a gift today. One that I couldn't get myself. It never once crossed my mind to take creadit for such a wonderful gift. If anything I wanted to brag on my man who some how (the whole family knows and no one tells) got me something of great value. When it comes to the gifts of the Spirit some how we look at them differently. As if we are something when we use them. Pride is a sneaky glory destroying tragity that we have participated in. The purpose of the gifts of the Spirit is to edify the body and and share the hope of Jesus with those who don't love Him yet. So He gives gifts for the purpose of love and we get selfish with them. We what to do what others do or we don't want to do what we know God has called us to. We put a value tag on one gift and consider another not as important. I think Paul addresses this when he repeats over and over "but one Spirit." Don't forget in all serving that it is never to elivate yourself. Never! I think if I checked this motive more offen I would enjoy more the things God has called me to.
     Here is the encouragement.  You that love  Jesus have a gift.  Find out what it is and use it to edify and evangelize (remember stay at home mom you have oppertunity to do this the moment your  kids wake up). Lets ask the Lord to truely be Lord. .like He leads and without protest we say yes Lord. When people do get edified and evangelized be vigilant to remember that all you did was bring the gift to the party.

Being Thankful

     My Mother and Father in love, Steve and Robin O'Brien, have been a major part of my growth in Jesus this last year. We all experience difficult times together and healing. What they have that I want is maturity and they live it out. They struggle just like any other but at the end of the struggle they always choose Jesus and trusting Him. As a result they have so much of value to pour into others. I love that I get to be one of those others. My Father in love writes these emails that challenge and administer truth. If you want to be put on his list just message me your email. 

Grand Dad and Abi at Old Kentucky Christmas

Here is one of his emails that really encouraged me today. 

     It seems that in the times that we should be most thankful we tend to stress and and think about problems and what we are not able to do. it is in those times that we should be most committed to be thankful for what God not only has done but will be doing for us. I am sharing this thought with all of you to encourage you to approach this season looking at God and not what may be going on around you.

Being thankful when it makes no sense

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV)

Seems like a strange verse to apply to the topic of being thankful, but in this season of thanksgiving and with the challenges of daily life that we all face,  I believe it is very appropriate. Let’s be honest at times we all may struggle with believing that God is going to meet our needs. Especially when we are faced with financial challenges that are exhausting our resources, all the while being overwhelmed by our circumstances. But the fact is God has promised to meet our needs (Php. 4:19) and to be with us always (Ps.23:4; 118:6; Isa. 43:2).

What I have learned is that trusting God is not a passive state of thinking, but an active and intentional act of our soul to hold onto every promise of God. Living and doing life with the expectations of God following through on His promises to us (which means we need to know His Word).  I make it personal because God is personal to me and I know that I am significant to Him. It is because of the promises that God has given us to hold onto that we can be thankful giving thanks in all things (1 Thess. 5:18). The key thing that I have to remind myself of regularly is that God’s provision is based on His glory, His timing, and His plan not based on what I think nor limited by what I see around me. This means that the economy does not limit God. My bank account doesn’t limit God nor does anything else. If I am surrounded by nothing but rocks God can turn those stones to bread (Ps. 78:20).

We should always give thanks to God in all things, not because of our circumstances, but because God is with us and has a plan to meet our needs.

Live as you are BLESSED, even if you don't feel that way.

--
Steve

In the THICK of it...I HATE NAP TIME!

     I like to post in the middle of a life issue.  I want you as my reader to know we are in this together.  This journey of loving Jesus, and that affecting everything we do in a day.  My days are filled with the blessed challenge of raising 3 extremely different individuals. I have Troy (almost 6), far beyond his years in some area's and very much a 6 year old little boy in all the rest.  As my parenting began with him I thought I was just an amazing Mom.  Which feed right into my pride perfectly since being considered a "good Mom" was a giant idol in my life.  After having Bear (now 4) who from the begging bucked almost every instruction given with out an ouch of care or repentance I realized much of my "parenting success" had more to do with my first born's innate desire to please.  My last dissuasion was thinking you could only get one strong willed child in a family.  Well, then came Abigail (2yrs. old).  We have referred to her as "she Bear" she has been stubborn like Bear but has this whole new set of emotions that I have never experienced in a child before. 
     Abigail has currently (during nap) gotten out of bed 3 times, hurt herself twice, had many pop pops and is now singing happy birthday.  She hasn't taken a nap in 4 days.  My first kid still takes naps at age 6.  Nap time challenges me. I find myself angry everyday. 
     I finally stopped today and asked the Lord what gives.  I hate nap time.  I don't like my children right now.  All I want to do is take an hour to do whatever I want with out being interrupted.  He was gentle but straight to the point. (which is why I have waited 4 days to talk to Him about it because I had a feeling He wasn't going to change my kids, but reveal something to me about me! Yay boo! But mostly yay cause I really do want to grow.)  So here it is. 
     Nap time isn't going to last forever.  Some day they will be awake all day. My expectations are getting me in trouble again.  It isn't to much to expect to wake up drink something hot, get in the word be filled with Him so that I can spend my ENTIRE day serving others.  That is a good life, well spent and full of blessing.  He also brought to mind the thought I have been thinking this Christmas season.  I realized I have made Troy our oldest, a kind of the standard that I measure the other two up against.  I trust I am not the only Mom who has done this.  I was thinking about the Mom, Mary.  Her first experience with raising a toddler was Jesus.  A perfect sinless toddler.  Right? I'm laughing too.  Cause as much as I would love to relate to that, I just can't! Imagine with me the whiplash in her day when #2 came along and his or her sin nature started showing up.  If she measured all her children next to Jesus they would have a miserable home!  

     God has been whispering to me to take each child one at a time all day long.  By "take" I mean train, show affection to, connect with, challenge, encourage, teach...individually.  I know this is parenting 101 but some where in being pregnant or nursing for 5 years straight I got into this habit of parenting that does not look like the Father.  I want to parent my kids the way God parents me.  He searches me and knows me. Doesn't compare me EVER to another.  He knows my laying down and my rising up. (Ps. 139)  I often have no clue how I am to parent each kid but the rad part is that you don't have to have your act together to be a "good Mom" you can just ask for wisdom one issue, or one day at a  time.
     In my furry  this afternoon I did finally stop and ask for wisdom.  I went into find Abigail under her mattress.  God whispered give her a reason to be still.  I genitally wrapped up here WaWa (stuffed puppy) in a baby blanket and quietly told Abi to please hold WaWa, that she hasn't taken a nap in 4 days and is so very tired.  I haven't heard a noise since.  Now does that mean it will work tomorrow...probably not but God has fresh new tricks and ideas for me for tomorrow.  I can trust Him for the wisdom and help I need tomorrow. 
     So there you have it.  I am in the thick of it.  I desire to parent my children as individuals. An ideal we planned on before having kids.  I know that God can teach me and that He will. 
     Happy parenting or being a wife or being a student or whatever you are doing today.  If you need wisdom.  Ask!  He loves to give it to us! 

JAMES 1

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

This me with my napless wonder! Abigail. 

Bear         Me         Troy

SPIDERMAN ADVENT

     We don't do the Santa thing.  Not because we have any crazy harsh "conviction" about it but just because we want the focus to remain on Jesus' birth.  For Christmas our kiddo's get 3 gifts (one from us and one from each of their 2 siblings +stockings) just like Jesus and we talk about how He has the best birthday. We tell them He desires to have our worship and obedience for His gifts but loves giving, so loves that we give each other gifts on His birthday. "So then who is that big red guy with the flying cows."  Troy asked last year.  Well, His name is Santa and He is a super fun Christmas character.  He is a fun make believe guy to celebrate another man named Chris Kringle.  Chris loved Jesus and gave gifts to people around this time of year.
      We all know that Christmas is a pagan holiday that the church chose to celebrate Jesus on instead. Just like Martin Luther used many bar toons for his hymns.  All that aside we focus on Jesus but I also love the wonder and fun I experience believing in Santa as a child so last year I started Wa Wa Advent. I did 25 days of the new stuffy sneaking out of Bear's bed and setting up fun things for the kids and holding part of our Christmas story. The bit of story is printed on a sticker so we add to the story a little each day and the kids tell the story with me each morning.

They had a blast! I did too until about day 17.  It was just over whelming to be that fun and by the end I had set this SPECTACULAR standard that I was feeling obligated to follow through with.  This is my own spin on elf on the shelf.  This year we used our little Advent door thing that my Parents sent us years ago up till day 20!  Which would be today!  This year Spider man is going to give us the rest of our Christmas story!

December 20th

     It is rolled up there in his hand.  I wanted to enjoy the come to life toy advent thing and not feel like it was one more thing to do and be sick of it by Christmas.  I also knew it was going to be possible that I would have a lot of canvas orders to fill, I did.  Now its time to be fun whimsical Christmas focused Mom.  I love my job! 

December 21st

     Troy wasn't home this morning so Bear and Abi agreed to leave Spidy until he got home from Granny's. Once we got Spidy down I placed him in the window sill that you can see there behind Bear. Just so I knew were he was for the next morning. Bear went and got every Batman he owns and piled them up. I asked what he was doing and he said, "I want Spider Man to make my Batman's come to life too." 

     This morning my alarm didn't go off because some one must have messed with it. It was 6:15 when the first kid went to the bathroom waking me up! AHHHH! I rushed out to the kitchen. I had to be seeky to get things done and not be seen by the wave of bathroom going that happens from 6 on. I guess that window is the magic spot because The Batman's are being made pancakes! Little mini green ones! 

December 23rd

     Today Mike Puppy was placed with Spiderman to hopefully catch the magic! He did! Spidy and Mike are making Christmas Cards! 

December 23rd

Fallow up to ALL MY HEART

     Its been about a 2 weeks since I wrote ALL MY HEART.  No I didn't get it all figured out as much as the little perfectionist in me would love for that to be the report.  I don't think we ever get to get it all because then we wouldn't NEED Jesus for our every breath.  KNOWING WE NEED HIM is a much better way to live.  See, intimacy with Jesus is it.  Its the end all.  It is the purpose this side of heaven and for all eternity.  When I said I don't know how to trust the Lord with all my heart as we are commanded to in the word I knew the only way to remedy it was to know God Himself more.  Not more about Him, just Him.  I am pleased to report that He did it.  He walked me through crisis He was tenderly WITH ME when I stumble through bouts of anger and tears.  He was patient and provided the perfect encouragement.  Through people, through His word, through His word through people. Fellowship is so vital especially in times of wanting to shake our fist at God and then just dieing! OK, that's a little dramatic but I really do "feel" that way some days. ( Ps. pick your fellowship carefully when you are in crisis mode. Pick people who are going to give you truth only.)
     So all that to say, you guess it.  God is faithful and near.  He has provided for our bills and even rent will be covered by a week of work He has given my hubby.  We just found out that Paul is also still up for the EMT job in Louisville!
      One step at a time.  One moment at a time believing and taking God at his word.  I want to encourage you that believing God doesn't come naturally to us in our human nature.  There are things we can do to live more victoriously.  Remember that victory only comes after a BATTLE.  His word is the anchor we need to stay grounded when emotions are stupid and screaming lies to us in perfect harmony with the enemy of our souls.  Pray, talk to God about everything, David is such a great example of a man who was real with God.  We can be real with Him too.  This last 2 weeks I set my alarm a 1/2 hour early so I could let God have it and then rehearse His truth before I even got out of bed.  Its worth the work.  Whatever pressing into Him looks like for you, do it! Trial and suffering will not have an end while we have our breath before Jesus comes to get us. We can press into Him, know Him and live to the fullest even when the trials keep coming.

     Side note: Abi, swallowed a hair clip. I didn't freak out! I have been a freak out Mom in the past but as I am trusting the Lord with more of my heart this one kind of surprised me. She is ok, just waiting for the thing to pass.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE CANCER

     Some one can have cancer and not know it.  Often its not the cancer the person detects but the symptoms or side affect from having a life eating decease.  Similar to cancer, spiritually speaking is this sneaking little thing hiding in the corner or our hearts, unforgiveness.  As God has been building His truth into me we started with the foundation, GRACE.  I began to understand that all of my interaction with the Creator of all things is because of His grace poured out in Jesus' blood.  His blood flowed so mine didn't have to.  I explain to my kids once they can get it, that they should die for a lie or one act of disobedience.  WHAT?  Yes we should die for what we might consider to be a "tiny" sin. But GRACE!  So now that I am getting grace a little more its like an x-ray (or what ever they use to find cancer) and it is scanning every inch of my heart.  It has found some dark creepy corners infested with unforgivenss.  Dang it, and praise the Lord all in one breath of realization.

     So what do we do about it? FORGIVE. I am not joking. It is that simple.  As I was challenge over some specific unforgiveness this week, I sat down to do business with the Lord.  My inclination was that for me to forgive it had to be this big emotional experience. Nope.  It may be sometimes but forgiveness happens in the crisis of the will.  It is a choice not an emotion.  Similar to love.  I also know that I will have to KEEP making the choice. Picking old hurts back up is easy and natural. I have asked to Lord to quickly slap my hand as I know my tendency to go back to unforgiveness even after I have made the choice by faith to forgive.  I trust Him to do it.  There is much more to come on the issue of forgiveness but may I encourage you this morning to get vulnerable with God's x-ray (grace) let it soak into every corner of your heart and reveal any unforgiveness you might have.  This life is messy.  Not a single person goes through it with out being offended and hurt by someone close.  We can't undo the past but we can forgive and not let the pain from the past shape our today. 
     ¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Col. 3:12-15 
     I was asked to do this scripture on a canvas and man has it ministered to me these weeks after I completed the order. Like I said, this is not conclusive just as far as I can articulate so far as I learn more about the life giving, bondage braking choice to forgive. 

This was the canvas. Its kind of rad that I
am getting paid to have my spiritual
butt kicked by life giving truth! I'll take it! Good one Lord.

THIS LOVE THING

   

     I have been doing a study on my own since Woman's study at my church ended.   I go through different seasons of studying God's word.  Some times I'll do word studies on an area of life that I'm really struggling with or what ever the study is with the Ladies at church (last one was a Beth Moore).  I haven't done and inductive study on my own before and I kind of love it.  This is just a book with simple instructions to study a book of the bible one line at a time. You get to print out a book and then mark it all up with different colors and symbols.  This works really well for me as I remember much more if there is a logo involved!  Might have something to do with growing up as a sign painters daughter.  There are many ways to study God's word, may I encourage you that there is nothing more important in your day.  NOTHING!  In our busy lives if we don't carve out time for connecting with God in His word we wont.  Then we miss out on a vital part of ABIDING in Him. So, on to what I am learning:

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence:  If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.  Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.  And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. 1 John 3:18-23

     I love how the scripture says if our hearts condemn us!  Ah yeah!  I am just now getting grace to the point were my heart condemns me and I am able to say shhhhhh, no I am believing God and what He says about me.  God sums up His desire for us this side of Heaven, to believe on the name of His Son and to love one another.  Sounds simple but that encompasses everything in our everyday life. 

     To believe on the name of Jesus is not just, Jesus I believe you died and rose again is to surrender everything we have learned from this world and become like a child completely dependent on Him for training our thoughts and actions to come in line with His.  To believe on Jesus is to read the world and actually believe if or ourselves. 

     I have been pleasantly shocked at how in my own life as I have started really taking God at His word and this loving others thing has become so much more natural.  I mean real love, the kind that doesn't "love" to get something in return.  I have also noticed that when I BELIEVE on the name of Jesus in the every day nitty gritty instead of functioning in fear or frustration I am starting ask/pray boldly.  There is a difference in the request too.  I still ask for tangible things and we have some pretty major needs right now but its not the first thing on my mind.  I have started asking boldly for life giving things beyond food and housing. Like, healing, increased faith, humility, and harmony.  Guess what?  He is saying YES!  It is so EXCITING! 

     I want to encourage you my reader to BELIEVE on the name of Jesus for more that salvation.  Cast your cares on Him and see how He cares for you.  Then watch how when you believe Him, He works these other things naturally through that avenue of faith you have paved together.  Have a wonderful day. Even though you can't know exactly who is reading your blog. I have a deep care and affection for you my reader.  Thank you for reading what God is teaching me and know that I pray for you that if there is any nugget in here for your that God would highlight it and encouraging you. Have a wonderful day abiding in Him. 

OH NO! NOT ANOTHER CHORE CHART! SHEESH!

      I have been wanting to make a chore chart for ages. There are so many options out there that its over whelming!  So let me add one more!
     It is really important to us to equip our kids to become age appropriately independent.  There are so many things kids can do around the house so that Mom is not a pick up and cleaning machine.  This also frees up more time to do things with them and not send them off to do the fun things while I get the chores done.  The kids and I work together for a couple hours of each day. (of course there are days I put them in front of a show and get it all done in half the time, but in general we work together).  Work first and play being a reward is a much more realistic model for life to come when our kids are hopefully productive members of society.  We have grown up and found our age bracket to be lazy and entitled (not everyone of course but its a growing problem).  Just imagine what our kids are gong to face.
     Our goal at our house is to work well together.  Pretty simple but if you are a parent you know that just sorting the laundry together can be EPIC!  So we teach and we train and ask Jesus to help us be patient and kind in the process!  Right!

   THE CHART

      I used vinyl off of a box my Mom sent.  She always wraps our boxes in unused vinyl! She is so fun.  I guess you could use a sticker of some sort if your parents don't own a sign company.  For magnets we use magnet strips (also from my parents shop) which Wal-Mart sells.  Left means it needs to be done Right means it is done. (I didn't label eveything cause that just feels cluttered to me).  The star magnet is on Troy's stripe because he is the "Child of the Day" today.  That just means he gets to do extra chores, pray for the meals, and go first anytime there is a turn.

 Here is a up close.  I hope to make cooler magnets and straight lines one day but I didn't want having it "perfect" to stop me from fallowing through when I finally decided what I wanted to do.

Reward

     This is the reward system to go with it.  One penny for each chore and 5 pennies if they take a proper nap. No talking, no playing, they currently lost their 5 pennies as I type.  I am going go to the $1 store and buy a couple of prizes.  I will put prices on each of the prizes and have "O'Brien Store" once a week or a month, I have decided yet.
     This is not all the chores and work they do in a day, far from it but its the ones I want to reward them for.  For every 10 pennies they earn they will get to take one and give it to Jesus at church.  I'm not worried that a penny isn't worth much, it what I have to work with and the concepts of working hard, being paid and giving back to Jesus first are the key right now.  Abi is to young to get much of this but she loves to be included, so she is.
     Today is the first day.  I will try to write a fallow up in a few weeks once the excitement has worn off and let you know if it is still a helpful tool or just one more thing that we don't really need to do just because it seems like everyone else is doing it.  Today they love it and we have had a really productive morning!
 

BEAR IS 4

 It was a good day. I didn't have the money to do any kind of a theme and that was wonderful in its own way. I didn't try to accomplish anything Pintrest and as a result ended up still wowing my kiddo and spending $3 on decorations! Theme Green, his favorite color. I didn't get a picture but there were some streamers and balloons. He was so blessed when he woke up to the house decorated. Paul got to be home just long enough to watch Bear open up his gift from Abi and Troy. LEGO's they worked together to build a bug type space ship. Bear was so gracious sharing his first set of new lego's.

 We did the usual sprinkles on everything we eat all day long and sang happy birthday with every meal. I just love blowing out candles so I do that for my kids multiple times day :).

Went to Big Boys and used out last free meal coupons! 

       We had his "party" at Granny and Grand Dad's. We all had pj's on! Aunt Shell Shell made cake and cup cakes to order. This is the master on the Nijago Lego movies and toys. After Bear told me what kind of cake he wanted and I told Shell he said, "don't worry Mom, I told God what I was thinking and He will tell Aunt Shell Shell." I wasn't worried she is amazing at cakes!

 Papa called while Bear was building lego's with Dad. That is always such a blessing. 

     Bear was blessed with so many fun lego's but the gift that stole the show was the "fart gun." From Mamo and Papa! Yes I said fart gun! It is a gun that farts and strays banana sent. We got to Skye with Mamo and Uncle Lukie as he opened their gifts.

     All of this was fun and wonderful but the greatest gift was that Bear invited the Holy Spirit to live in him today. We were getting shoes on before leaving and we got into discussion about the Holy Spirit and Satin living in our hearts. He said that he keep forgetting to ask the Holy Spirit into his heart and would I help him pray and ask Him in. Yes, Bear I would love to. It was a good day.

ALL MY HEART

Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. 

Prov. 3:5-6

     So easy to spout off by memory and so very hard to walk out moment by moment.  Through tears I sit down to write this afternoon.  We are in it again.  Bills going unpaid, not know were we are going to live if and when we can't make rent.  Paul, filling out several applications a day with no response.  I get fearful and then I do the one thing no one in my little world needs me not to do.  I try to take control.  I get angry, blaming, and manipulative.  Here's the thing we have already been here.  Really hard, no money and not knowing were we will live each month or if I can commit to even going to church because there is no money for gas.  We have been here and I have done it the wrong way.  I have chosen anger at God over crummy circumstances and I have reaped the harvest.  That harvest is bitter.  I don't want to do that this time.  In all the we have been through with lack of sufficient work to pay bills God has been WITH US.  Just like the angle told Mary the He was with her.  Just like He was with Joshua when he lead the Israelites into the promise land.  There is much impossible in front of us, BUT GOD IS WITH US!  If I learned anything the last time around (before Paul had a solid job for a year) it was that He is with us.  Emmanuel. I can either press into Him (cause He is right there with me) or get mad at Him (cause He is right there with me).  I choose press in. 

     Today I was struggling with anger and my almost 6 year old Troy says, "Hey, Mom, what's going on?" "I am angry and I need to change my attitude." "You could take a break and go in your room and ask the Lord to help you." "Good idea, I'm going to do that." I did go in my room. I balled my eyes out and told God how angry I am at Him that we are here again and got out my IDENTITY MUG and started reading the promises He has given me.  All I could do was cry and say, I don't know how but give me that.  Over and over I read the promise and just said "OK I'll take it!"  When I came back down stairs were my kiddo's were tear stained cheeks but joy in my heart I got a nod from my Troy. How sweet to have fellowship with my son in a time I am hurting so much.  I had to put myself in time out again by lunch time and may need to again as it is only nap time.
     I don't know how to trust the Lord with my WHOLE heart, but I am begging Him to teach me and I am confident that He will say yes.  I'm probably not going to get it all this side of heaven but I am looking forward to knowing Him a little more.  Cause that is what He does, when we say teach me, He shows us Himself.  Eyes on Him is so much better than fist shaking at Him.  How gracious of God to not allow me to get comfortable with anything less than ALL MY HEART.