Your the perfect Mom

     Over the years I have watched my Mom with my adult handicapped bother.  I have noticed that she really is the perfect Mom for him.  I have never know a woman to pay more attention to detail and have never know a guy to delight and appreciate that gift in some one as much as Lukie.  For example she has a quilt for his bed for every season.  There is nothing my bother loves more that to celebrate something and she does it with him in the tiny things and big things.  So its easy for me to see that God knew what He was doing when He pared the two of them up.

My Mom and Lucas. Sorry about the orientation I just couldn't
figure it out but aren't they sweet! She is amazing! 

     If this is true about Parents and kids which of course we believe it is.  God picks the kids we get and He is sovereign and He is good and He knows what He is doing.  Why did I want to break down cry and roll the eyes of my heart when my Mother in Love said these very words to me just yesterday?
     We have some serious fighting going on in our home right now.  Mainly between the two fire crackers #2 and #3.  I couldn't accepted the truth at first from my Mother in love because if I am so perfect for them then I would think I might have a clue about what to do with them.  In that moment standing on her porch I didn't.
      I am so thankful that James 1 tells us that we can ask for wisdom and God will give it.  I am also so thankful for a husband that loves these kids as much as I do and knows them yet has a more pulled back perspective on the situation that I do because he isn't in the thick of it every moment like I am.   Between asking the Lord and my husband for help this is were we are at.  LOCK DOWN.  Or as Abi way more cutely says "wock down." Lock down is when the kids loose all privileges.  What is considered a privilege? Most everything.  They get to eat and drink and read their bible and  do regular chores but beyond that nothing.  No toys, no electronics, no play dates, no fishing and no hiking.

I refer to them as firecrackers,
 never to them but to you my reader.
I think firecrackers are beautiful. 

     Yesterday when I reported to my man that we did not have a good morning.  That both younger children have screamed, hit, bitten and threatened to do all of those things to each other repeatedly he said "OK, Its time for lock down." I don't often make this call and I'm going to be honest its because I am selfish.  I like to hike and  let them watch TV on Saturdays (because its the only day of the week we even let them watch TV so they love it and I love it). It take sacrifice sometimes to fallow through with giving them a consequence that gets their attention beyond a pop pop or a time out.
     I realized something new and extremely important this round of lock down.  I RESCUE!!!  It is really easy to see this when someone else is doing it but some how I missed it in myself.  I was sharing with Paul that I was dreading the next day because it is supposed to be a day of rest and now I have to try and come up with chores for them to do all day!  He quickly responded, "no you don't this house doesn't revolve around the kids if it is your day of rest then you need to rest."  I responded, "I don't think they know that."  Paul said, "I can guarantee they don't know that."  I sat for a moment and this is when God said yes to the request for wisdom.  It came out of my mouth before I could over think it and I said. "I DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT THIS HOUSE DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND THE KIDS." Paul more gently responded,  "I don't think so either Babe."  Well dang it and Thank you JESUS!  This would be a great time to cut this out of my interaction with my children!  I am so thankful God showed me so plainly and so gently.  When my kids need a good consequence that makes them uncomfortable such as lock down I get in there and try to ease the blow.  Believe me when you loose everything chores are a delight and I would run my self ragged trying to delight my children in their consequence when they should be feeling he sting of their bad choices.  So no more rescuing.  Their choices are going to get bigger and life consequences bigger.  If they can rely on Mama to make it easier then I am only going to get in the way of what God is doing to get their attention and show them that they must be desperate for Him, and abide in Him to bear fruit in this life.
     Thank you Jesus that you paired me up with my kids, that I am the right woman for the job because you are good and wise enough to help me, thank you that I am also off the hook.  I don't have to rescue them.  That is why you came to this earth. To die for their sin so they wouldn't have to. Thank you that there is consequence for sin and the sting reminds us that we can not do this life fruitfully apart form you.  Draw their little hearts in by your love and YOUR RESCUE. 

EAT UP

     Feeding our kids.  Man, this can be so tough especially if you have a kid that bucks your system. We have been fortunate to get 2 that eat well.  We do have one that doesn't like to try new things, doesn't want food to touch (ever) and puts up a fight often.  Our house rules are you eat what we give you or you don't eat.  We have had all of our kids at different times challenge our resolve and go at least 3 meals without eating.  Before you gasp remember that God gave us the role as parent and often with food issues the kids are rebelling against the authority God has given us over them.  Its good for us to teach our little sinners to obey weather they like it or not.  A lesson they will surely use in their lives to come as we have.
     That is our take on food and picky eating.  To each their own.  I wanted to give that back round because I don't think my new discovery would have been such a hit if our kids were used to picking and choosing what they eat.

      The last few nights I have been doing veggies like this.  I put the plate in the middle of the table and they can eat as much as they want.  I think the novelty of getting to just grab it when ever they want in the meal has been really fun for them.  Each meal that I have done this there hasn't been one single thing left on the veggie plate.
     Just wanted to share in case it would be encouraging for you and yours to get their veggies.

HAPPY MEAL TIME!

1 King =2 Twin

Check this out! if you cut a king size comforter in half then you can hem it and make 2 twin comforters! Our boys have fun character sheets and now matching comforters! Yay for using what you have to make something new!

OH NO! NOT ANOTHER CHORE CHART! SHEESH!

      I have been wanting to make a chore chart for ages. There are so many options out there that its over whelming!  So let me add one more!
     It is really important to us to equip our kids to become age appropriately independent.  There are so many things kids can do around the house so that Mom is not a pick up and cleaning machine.  This also frees up more time to do things with them and not send them off to do the fun things while I get the chores done.  The kids and I work together for a couple hours of each day. (of course there are days I put them in front of a show and get it all done in half the time, but in general we work together).  Work first and play being a reward is a much more realistic model for life to come when our kids are hopefully productive members of society.  We have grown up and found our age bracket to be lazy and entitled (not everyone of course but its a growing problem).  Just imagine what our kids are gong to face.
     Our goal at our house is to work well together.  Pretty simple but if you are a parent you know that just sorting the laundry together can be EPIC!  So we teach and we train and ask Jesus to help us be patient and kind in the process!  Right!

   THE CHART

      I used vinyl off of a box my Mom sent.  She always wraps our boxes in unused vinyl! She is so fun.  I guess you could use a sticker of some sort if your parents don't own a sign company.  For magnets we use magnet strips (also from my parents shop) which Wal-Mart sells.  Left means it needs to be done Right means it is done. (I didn't label eveything cause that just feels cluttered to me).  The star magnet is on Troy's stripe because he is the "Child of the Day" today.  That just means he gets to do extra chores, pray for the meals, and go first anytime there is a turn.

 Here is a up close.  I hope to make cooler magnets and straight lines one day but I didn't want having it "perfect" to stop me from fallowing through when I finally decided what I wanted to do.

Reward

     This is the reward system to go with it.  One penny for each chore and 5 pennies if they take a proper nap. No talking, no playing, they currently lost their 5 pennies as I type.  I am going go to the $1 store and buy a couple of prizes.  I will put prices on each of the prizes and have "O'Brien Store" once a week or a month, I have decided yet.
     This is not all the chores and work they do in a day, far from it but its the ones I want to reward them for.  For every 10 pennies they earn they will get to take one and give it to Jesus at church.  I'm not worried that a penny isn't worth much, it what I have to work with and the concepts of working hard, being paid and giving back to Jesus first are the key right now.  Abi is to young to get much of this but she loves to be included, so she is.
     Today is the first day.  I will try to write a fallow up in a few weeks once the excitement has worn off and let you know if it is still a helpful tool or just one more thing that we don't really need to do just because it seems like everyone else is doing it.  Today they love it and we have had a really productive morning!
 

ABIDEscripts

How it started:
I have always loved being creative.  My mom was always doing fun crafts with us as kids growing up and my Dad is a sign painter. Like - the man can do real fonts by hand!  I journal and take notes in church just like I  write on my canvas’  to help me capitalize on the theme of what God is speaking to me.  I had never thought much of it. One day I posted a picture of my giant "3x5 scripture note card" in my living room.  Its a chalk board that I write whatever truth God is having me focus on for the day.

A friend called me up to tell me how much she liked my "art."   I have never once in my life considered myself an artist – not  with a dad and older brother who usually bore the title in the family.  This friend asked if I would write out some scriptures for her so she could frame them and that she would pay me.  I was about to say of course I will write them out, but no way are you going to pay me when the Lord whispered to me., "This is Me saying yes."  He was saying yes to a very short very simple prayer from the day before.  "Lord is there a way I could make some money for my family."  We have had extremely hard financial times,  like so many other people, and extra's are just not in the budget.  My friend also had the idea to have a showing of my art  for me at her house.   I prayed much and believe God was leading me in this direction. So, nervous but obedient I started painting scripture on canvas.  I have never had more fun creating.  It is so natural and calm when I am doing it.  My favorite part is that I get to pray over each piece and for the eventual families that may hang them on their walls.  I have heard wonderful and hard stories and have had the privilege of partnering with these families in prayer.  God has moved in creating this business. There has been one blessing after another and I truly feel like the only thing I am doing is creating and being blessed. The most powerful thing God has given us this side of heaven is His word. He promises that it will accomplish what pleases Him and never go void. I love being a part of the Lord showcasing His eternal and powerful Word.

SO SHALL MY WORD BE THAT GOES FORTH FROM 

MY MOUTH;IT SHALL NOT RETURN TO ME VOID, 

BUT IT SHALL ACCOMPLISH WHAT I PLEASE,

AND IT SHALL PROSPER IN THE THING FOR 
WHICH I SENT IT ~ISAIAH 55:11

The Frame

     I had seen on Pintrest people taking goddy vintage frames, painting them and putting a chalk board inside.  I love to make old thing new a beautiful.  I wasn't able to go out and spend any money on a frame.  When that happens I usually ask the Lord to provide.  He did!  I was driving in our neighbor hood and a family had a sign out that said "free." I pulled over and just as I did the gal put this ugly thing on the grass. 

I quickly snatched it up as my heart nearly burst from how personal God was being with me at that very moment.  He also provided a bag of Easter eggs and new mason jars as my kiddo's have been breaking ours lately.  Three things I had specifically asked God for and He gave them to me in this wonderful way. 

     I got right to work.  I picked out a color that I thought would look good in Abi's room and started spray painting.  Abi loved it just as much as I didn't with an approving, "petty Mom!" (pretty Mom)  It took me a couple of days of light layers of paint snuck in between my regular life duties.  I enjoyed every moment of the process. 

      Here's were all that I have been learning about Humility and Rest came into play.  I finished the painting and brought the frame it to hold up to Abi's grey wall.  I love grey and yellow together.  So did she.  Together we got excited about how "petty" it was.  Just then the frame slipped out of my hand as it hit the ground. The brittle plastic broke into several pieces.  In that moment my mind spun with thoughts.  The first of which was, why would You give me this thing making me feel so loved just to take it away.  My second thought was, OK this is when I choose humility and just accept the circumstance You allowed and don't freak out.  So I didn't freak out.  A normal response for me in a situation like this, because there have been plenty would have been, crying, discouragement, and figuring out how because I'm stupid it was all my fault.
     It took all of 5 seconds to have these thoughts and be surprised at my own lack of freaking out.  As I stood there stunned that my frame was on the ground in pieces and stunned that I was OK with it, my sweet 2 year old little girl said,"Broke Mommy, Broke."  I looked at her and sadly said, "Yes, Abi it broke."  A few moments went by and I hear her voice again, I looked up to see her with her head to the side, a concerned look on her face and these words, "sordy Mommy" (sorry Mommy).  That was it. That was what God was doing with the frame.  I still feel loved that I got it from someone giving things away on their lawn.  I thought the end purpose was to hang it in my daughters room but it wasn't it was for "sordy Mommy." She was so compassionate in that moment. God spoke to my heart right then and said, "you just saw what I see in her, now cultivate it."

      Now I have no idea how to cultivate compassion in a little girl but I am confident as I remember to ask God to show me that He will give me the wisdom.  I kept a little piece of the frame and hung it above her bed to remind me of the very specific quality that God showed me in here.  Its still disappointing to not get to finish my project and have that fun wall piece in her room but I would take what God did in me and showed me about Abigail over a Pintrest project any day.

One and Done.

Therefor we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Heb. 12:1-2

     There is so much rich truth in this one very long sentence.  The part I would like to share on is the bit in yellow.  I have been newly impressed and a touch depressed with the idea that I am such a sinner!  I have been diligently lately to keep my precious extra time that I have to myself, in the World of God.  When all three of the babies are occupied through out the day I have been listening to sermons.  The pockets of time are not always long but with these smart phones I can listen to a sermon while its quiet and hit pause when its not.  All this to say the more I am in the word the more clear cut my sin is.  I am grateful to see my sin so clearly and have to constantly remind myself that when I see something new or something old again I am under no condemnation.  The goal is to see it, confess it, do what ever needs to be done to make it right and move on. 

     For the first 5 years of parenting I was shocked that my kids needs continually changed. I have to confess I was also put out by it.  I had no intention of continuing to grow my whole life. I wanted to simply get it right and bask in my perfection.  Absurd I know but when I got habitually frustrated with the change I found this was my secrete rotten heart's desire.  An idol if you will.  The same has been true for myself in my walk with God.  I want to get it right and be done with the whole mess.  I'd like to be perfect and not deal with this sin issue ever again in my whole life! 

     Since this is not the reality of the human experience my desire now is to bask is thankfulness that I even see my sin and have been given the power to not choose it.  Laying aside the weight and the sin is such a privilege.  Is it work, yes!  But, it is a work that is made lighter with the perspective that it is profound grace on God part that I get to run this race at all. 

     How does this affect my everyday?  Well, my every day is spent with 3 little sinners and a chocolate lab.  I have been given the duty to train these babies up (ages 5,3,1 1/2).  I find myself at times...well most days being disillusioned with the same problem.  I want to train my kid in a manner that Paul (my husband) calls "one and done!"  When I am focused on my own comfort and desire (idols) for peace and obedience I get frustrated that my kids aren't getting in line with the plan.  One and done!  I teach you once and we shouldn't have to teach it again.  What a double standard when my Lord has patiently walked through out my life with me teaching me to trust and obey time and time again. 

     Lord, help me cast of the weight of my idol and the sin of worshiping them instead of You.  Help we raise my babies in the same manner that you continue to raise me. Consistent, gentle and full of grace.  I pray that if there are other Mommy's that read this blog that struggle in this area that you would strengthen them to lay aside their idols and cast of the sin that entangles them.  To run after you and bring the babies with them!  We love you Jesus.  We need our existence to be abiding in you to produce the fruit we desire to honor you with in this life!  Amen. 

Vinyl in the House

     We always know when we get a box from Mamo and Papa (My parents) because my Mom always wraps it up in vinyl from the Sing Shop. They have owned their own sign business my whole life. Totally great when you are the creative type. Or maybe that is why I have become the creative type. Anyways, Mom wraps the boxes in vinyl with the backing and all so I decided to put some of our packaging to use. I made a "back off" line in the kitchen. This has come in handy when I am working in the hot area. They all know to stay back but with a definite line I can easily say,"Please get behind the line." There is a clear reference. I don't plan on having vinyl on my kitchen floor forever but its working for this season. 

couldn't get this to rotate :(

      I love being able to tell my 3 and 5 year old, "Go take a bath." I most often say this after dinner when I am getting the kitchen cleaned. With this arrow system they can go run the water themselves. I usually check on them but they can get started all by themselves! Yay!

Boys just line up the arrows and turn the water off when the bath is full.

I don't know what you would use if you didn't have vinyl handy. Any ideas?

Ugly But Functional

  I saw this on Pinterst.  A dresser re purposed into a some what of a shelf/ dresser.  In my mind my re purposed dresser is a fun pop color and there are beautiful matching baskets to go in the shelf section.   In reality this old dresser was given us.  I don't have the time or money right now to do anything to the finish or color but man, is my stuff organized!  It holds all things creative.  Something dear to my heart that has long awaited a place of its own.  In our new house we have an office but it just didn't fit in there so I have the dresser out in the garage.  I am much more likely to have times of creating with my kiddos and for myself if everything is in one place and organized.  The moral of this post is don't wait to make it perfect or even beautiful.  If it can be functional and maybe one day beautiful, GO FOR IT! 

My random Dollar Tree Baskets that don't match. 

Removed 2 of the drawers 

This is the top little drawer

 

IMPRESSED!

     As Mom's and Wive's we have a responsibility to "Make the Home."  It goes so much farther that making the bed, making meals, doing endless chores, and keeping the kids alive!  We set the tone in the home.  Proverbs talk about how it is better to remain on the roof top than dwell in the home with a contentious wife.  In mine and Paul's experience this is a very true statement.  So how to be that Wife and Mom that draws the family in instead of repels them, causing a desire for roof top living?  I have found my behavior towards my family is either drawing in or pushing away in direct correlation to my being IMPRESSED with REDEMPTION.  The "Gospel."  I have heard people say, "Preach the gospel to yourself every day."  I had know idea what they were talking about.  "Jesus died for my sins so that I can go to heaven."  I'm thinking how is reciting that going to make a difference.  Like saying the pledge of allegiance anything can become so routine that it looses it meaning.  How often did you as a child growing up saying the pledge of allegiance think about every word and the weight it carried?
     So how do I get IMPRESSED with the Gospel of Redemption?  I have found for me just staying it to myself each day over and over doesn't impact me much.  But, as I continue to get up every morning before my babies and get into reading the bible in some way (bible study home work or just reading it and looking up words in the Greek and Hebrew), God through His Word preaches the Gospel to Me!  The whole focus of God's word is that we are separated from Him by sin.  We can not return to Him by anyway but the One He planned on giving us from the foundation of creation.  God knew before creating the entire world that we as a people would rebel.  He and Jesus had a plan to save us from separation with Them!

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus"  Romans 3:23-24
"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of grace..." Eph. 1:7
"In Whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Col. 1:14
     At our church our Pastor says one thing more than anything else.  "God has taken care of our greatest problem!"  When I keep my eyes on that care God has taken with me all the other hard stuff of this life looses its color a bit.  We have trials in this life as a result of the fall of man kind and our own choices.  He walks with us through them.  What a lover.  Truly working even the terrible for my good and His glory.

Don't forget the COFFEE!

     Today I am so IMPRESSED.  I just had to share! I can't impress myself with the Gospel but I have found if I remain consistent in spending time with my Jesus in the mornings reading and better understanding His word, HE WILL IMPRESS ME!

Then impressed, I live better! 

DON'T FORGET

I saw this on Pintrest and got to use it this round of pneumonia! Great idea! 

RAGS

I don't fold them! 

     Can you even handle it?  I used to fold them every time we washed them.  We can't buy paper towles right now so there is a lot of rags.  I have the kids help clean regularly so the rag draw would always look like we never folded them to begin with.  This was frustrating to me so I thought to myself, "I am the one who manages this home, nothing says I have to fold these rags!"  I do plan on folding rags one day.  I will teach my kids how and how to get them out of the draw with out wrecking it.  Today is not that day.  I love the freedom in picking your battles.  This one isn't that important to me!  It takes less time to do laundry anyone can put them away for me and I never get frustrated about the rags any more.  On the contrary every time I look in that draw of disarray I giggle to myself.  I breath deep the pleasure of doing what it takes to lessen the stress and put effort towards the things I care most about. 

END?

     Lately if feels like the week never ends and a new one is already starting.  Paul has about 7 hours of awake free time on Saturday's and the same on Sunday's.  Most of his time spent with our 3 crazies is when they are just that CRAZY!  I'm sure many father's can relate to the bummer of being at work during their kids most happy hours and home during the generally crabby ones.
     We are in a holding pattern with the fire dept.  Paul took a test about a week ago and will hopefully have scored high enough to get an interview.  90 other guys showed up to take that test and there is one 12 month temporary job available.  We works 50 hours a week in a factory were it doesn't matter if you work hard or play on your cell phone everyday as long as you clock in and out at the right  time.  Complacency is hard on the heart when you were taught good strong work ethic and used it your whole life.  Paul continues to run volunteer shifts once a week.  On a shift night he is at the fire station all night.  He has to get up at 4am. regardless of how many calls they get that night.   We are bless to have the opportunity to move Jan. 1st.  This is very exciting as we will save quite a bit on rent and the house will be a wonderful place to make our home for a season.  That being said.  If you have ever moved it is stressful!
     That is a little bit of the circumstance and schedule that my wonderful man is doing faithfully every week.  Mean while every morning he walks out that door to do a job he hates, that doesn't pay all the bills just some, my heart fills with gratitude.  I am so thankful!  I get to stay home and do my career of choice everyday.  Even thought being a full time (by full time of course you know I mean 24/7, not full time 40 hrs a week) homemaker and Mom can be difficult and is a high calling it is a privilege. I get to stay home all day and care for our 3.  I get to be there for every single bump and bruise.  I get to train and teach truth to equip them for life out side our home that will be hard.  I get to be silly and have dance parties or go to the zoo.  I am of course reminding myself as I type.  Is doesn't always feel like "I GET TO" but that is the reality of the situation.  I am so honored to be these babies Mom and to be home with them.
     My hearts desire this week is to make practical changes to try to ease the craziness when Paul gets home from work and the gym.  I am going to try and get dinner prepared way in advance so there isn't much to do or what is left the boys can help me with.  I am going to rest more at nap time so I have more to give Paul when he his home.  I am going to give Paul a massage 2 nights this week.  That last on may sound silly but that is the last thing I every feel like doing at the end of a long day and it blesses him so much.   He asked me to start doing a little packing now so its easier in 3 weeks.  I am going to pack but not get so wrapped up in that that I have nothing left when he gets home.

     We shall see how the week goes.  I fully expect the Lord to give me wisdom on other ways I can best serve and bless my man who is serving and blessing me with almost every hour of his day.

One of the few peaceful moments this weekend. 

TOYS

        I have been asked by several friends, "How do you organize your toys." Well here it is. The first picture is our basement. That big cabinet thing holds all the toys all the time. We have baskets that live up stairs in our entertainment center in the main living space. The goal is once a week we re-organize. We take all the baskets down to the basement. We put everything in containers of like kind. We all dislike this part of the process. Once the basement is picked up they each have their own designated basket. They go shopping! They also know that just because they picked it doesn't mean they get to not share up stairs. The baskets live in our IKEA entertainment center. It is just shelving that we mounted our TV to. It does make me kind of sad that we buy IKEA when my man is a finish carpenter...but you do what you gotta do or the budget. The bottom center of our shelves have doors that lock. We keep busy boxes, play doe, DVDs and other such things that I don't want the 3 having access to with out asking. 

This is the basement.  We play down here sometimes or the boys
go down by themselves if they choose not to have conflict.  Our craft
table is down there too.  Nothing fancy but it is space utilized and it
works for us. 

This is how I feel about this chore every time. Heads up it takes
us about and hour and 1/2.

     The shopping part is super fun and then when we go up stairs they play for a good 2 hours with their "new" toys! 
I would do things a little different if there was a budget for house hold items but there isn't in this season so I working with what I've got and am super thankful for it! Even if we had a room designated for a "Toy Room." I would still rotate because it forces me to keep things organized in like kind which helps with development in play. It also keeps the kids thankful for the same toys we have had for years.

End result

A main living area not completely taken over boy toys.