EMPTY

John      

2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. ² Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. ³ And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”  ⁴ Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”⁵ His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”⁶ Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. ⁷ Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. ⁸ And He said to them, “Drawsome out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. ⁹ When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. ¹⁰ And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”¹¹ This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.

     I love that Jesus revealing Himself as God was done like this.  He cared for this couple lavishly.  It was a big deal to run out of wine in that culture in that day.  Jesus not only handled it but He did so with humility and abundance.  Did you ever think maybe that newly web couple may have sold some of the left over for a high price as it was such good wine to help them as they began their life together?  Fun thought. 

      Some time Jesus allows things to run out so that He can deepen our faith.  He knows the timing in which He will provide and if we would dare trust Him even when it feels like something has run out completely He will fill it again with a miracle or sweet providence (natural events divinely orchestrated) in a way that we KNOW it was him even if know one else does.  We KNOW what He did because we KNOW how empty we were. 

     In verse 9 when the scripture says the "disciples knew" that word knew is translated to us this way: A primary verb; used only in certain past tenses. To see, to know, be aware, behold, and be sure.

     Its a verb!  Its faith in motion!  Go to Jesus with your emptiness an see how He will fill it.  I am not suggesting that it will be something tangible like expensive wine to enjoy or sell off every time.  There are times we are empty and the need is a job or a house or food but there are needs that we can't see as well. Trusting in the Lord with all our heart, loving the Lord our God above anything else, and tasting and seeing that the Lord is GOOD!   
       As we let God fill our emptiness, the next time we have something run out we know Who to turn to. 

     Is there something empty, run dry, or gone in your life? Go to Jesus and do what He says and see how He fills.

Determination

John 1:10-13
¹⁰ He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. ¹¹ He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. ¹² But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: ¹³ who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

          This is the Gospel.  We that have receive are ever familiar with it right?  As I have been studying this first chapter of John a word stood out to me.  The word "will."  My husband and I are in a time of life (and who isn't) when we desperately want to know what God's specific will is for us in some of our aspects of life.  So when I read the will of the flesh and the will of man, my ears perked up.  The word will in the Greek here is translated: determination, choice, purpose, or desire.  It was not our own determination that saved us from being condemned to hell.  It was Christ paying the price for our sin and us receiving the free gift of grace.  If that is how relationship with Christ begins for every person looking forward to Heaven, then why do we get off that train and board another.  What I mean is we begin in grace and then move towards works.  We are not alone in this tendency.  Paul wrote to the Galatians on the same issue:  Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh? Galatians 3:3. 

      Just as we are saved by faith we are sanctified by that same faith.  Webster states sanctification like this: the state of growing in divine grace as a result of Christian commitment after conversion. 

      

      So basic but as you may relate I find myself constantly trying to "better myself" by my own determination.  That only ever gets frustrated because my determination is in reality self-worship. YUCK!  We have to go to Jesus with our areas of "messed up" and trust Him to change and by trust we are propelled to do the our part in the work of change. There is nothing that I have found that motivates me to change like trusting God. Trusting God brings a PEACE that can face any ingrained behavior that would other wise leave you feeling hopeless for change. 

      The challenge my beloved reader is this.  Is there something in your life God started for change to make you more like Him?  Have you continued to work with Him in His grace or have taken hold of it for yourself with your own will of determination to bring about change?  Let's get back to the best thing. Trusting Him with our whole hearts/minds! I am praying for you today. 

 Where does our
help come from? Look up. 

MOM FILTER

     I have been a Mom for 6 years tomorrow.  When I first started out I was sick with anxiety.  I wanted so badly to be a perfect mom which we all know is impossible.  I wanted other's to think I was a "good mom."  This threw me into what I would call "ta da!" parenting.  I was a good mom, I loved my kids discipline consistently and had fun with them but I was living under this extra pressure that wasn't from God.  About 9 months ago God put a spot light on my "ta da" or show off parenting.  He helped me get over myself and thinking my worth was some how connected to my kids behave or how they turn out.  A common misplacement of value or so I have heard.
     Being a good Mom can become an idol that makes us a calm calculated parent in public and not so much that way in the home when no one is watching.  Being a good Mom can not be our goal.  The goal has to be obeying Christ.  When we parent with any other motive we start projecting standards on our kids that God did not intend.  Fear of what others think will never give us the clear mind to shepherd the heart of our little sinners.
     All that is the foundation of where I have come from in my Mom journey.  What I am learning now has more to do with my parenting with in the 4 walls of our home.  The place that God has given me to love, discipline, train, play, and laugh.  It is to be the safe place that my husband and kids want to be because they are loved accepted and cherished.  So what do you do when you feel like your adult world is falling apart and you still have 3 wonderful little sinner's in your home looking to you for stability, standards and fun?  There is no way to manufacture peace in and of yourself.  Believe me I have tried.  So the first step I have found  is to trust the LORD with your whole heart.  This is the first step in progress of every single life experience.  As you trust the Lord with the adult things going on you will receive peace to do the Mom job better.  There is no greater deterrent that I have found to being the Mom God has called me to than a storm going on in my heart. The only thing that has ever calmed that storm is TRUSTING the creator of heaven and earth!  Then you FILTER.  You ask the Lord how much of what is going on do you share with your kids so that when God provides their faith is built.  You press on with the day to day.  Even when what you really want to do is go to bed and wake up with all your problems are fixed.  You do the morning routine, you do the laundry, (for Me) you keep up with the lessons (home school) and play.  Never stop playing.  We are always going to have trials.  ALWAYS.  Christ promised it. S o play and laugh anyways.  When the storm brews in your heart in the middle of a good game of hide and seek, hand it over to Jesus right then and there. God cares about the things that trouble you and has a plan for your life to give you hope and a future. DIG YOUR HEALS INTO HOPE.  When you mess up and scream at your kids, not because they are that terrible but the issues of life (that you can't share with them) are weighing heavy and you just used your kids as your out let.  Apologize, nock it off,  and move on the the next task or just stop altogether and read a book with your little ones. These are not things I have mastered but by God's grace am growing in.

 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart

Proverbs 3:3

     This is how we do it Mom's. We hang on to mercy and truth. Mercy in the Hebrew is kindness and beauty. Truth= stability! STABILITY! 

     In my current season God has shared with me that my faith will manifest itself in stability with my family. I do not walk by faith every moment of the day but I am growing and I will brag on my Lord that He has done a mighty work that makes me look forward to, or smile if you will (prov. 31:25) at my future with Him. 

     Trusting Him is the greatest thing you can do as a Mom.  

BOOKS

     How we do books

     Some may think this is not a worth while thing to share but book play a big roll in our home so I wanted to share anyways. Its sad but I am gong to confess I did not start really reading to my kids until Abi came along. I had a friend encouraging me about reading books to my kids right at the same time as God was giving me a new identity. I have always struggled with reading, writing and anything academics so I just didn't read to my kids. My husband did and let me just say I love listening to him read. He does voices and accents. He makes it really fun. 

     I do read to them now almost everyday. That's the goal anyway because its not just the reading that's wonderful. Its the discussions on life that come with it and the snuggling close. 

     We also use books a buffer. If there is a crazy moment or Mom and Dad just need to go in the other room and talk or that crazy 30 min. before dinner. Every one grabs books and sit far apart and "reads". Troy is actually reading many words our of regular books now and the excitements is contagious! Bear is wanting me to teach him to read as well. Abi will sing any entire books to you by memory! (Mainly hungry Caterpillar) Books have brought so much joy and enrichment into our lives. 

     How we do it. Every couple of weeks or when I can see that the books we have don't hold their attention any more we go to the library. I try to time it with a story/ craft time but not always. The kids usually don't look at books at the library and I don't mind that. Our library has such rockin' toys and kid computers that if I was a kid I would gravitate to them as well. While they are all occupied I walk around the library and pick our 40-50. I don't put alot of thought or effort into it cause lets face it there is a whole rest of our day to live and I'm not going to read every book before I pick it. We use a suit case on rollers. I am a little embarrassed when I have 30 lbs. of books making the suit case wheels ever so loud on the tile floor but then I get over it. 

     When we get home we load up our book shelf. In our current home the kids have their special toys in their rooms. We have toys that belong to everybody down stars and no toys in the upstairs living room. Just books. The books are right by the snuggliest place in our house and a constant joy in our home. 

Our little book shelf

Mamo enjoying books with Abi

Busted took a book to the bed room :)

Blurry, but this is Paul and Abi
picking out books to read

Troy and Abi again 

This was a craft time at our library! I love the library! There
wasn't space at the tables this day so we created on the floor. 

     Oh, yeah....when we have library books in the house ALL other books are put in a box and up our of reach in a closet. I can't handle the stress of loosing a library book. Also the library books don't leave the living room unless a parent takes them to another place in the house to ensure a timely return. So that it. I post these "How we do it's," not to show off or say our way is the best, its just what works for us and if its encouraging to another I like to take the time to document. If nothing else maybe my Abi will be encourage if she gets to be a homemaker some day. 

FOCUSED

     If you are a mom you may have said this to your child one or a million times, "Please, focus on what I am saying."  You say this because you know that if you can give your direction once to a focused child you are more likely not going to have to repeat your self as many times (there is always the kid that forgets the moment they walk away no matter what).  I value functioning well with my children in the command and obey area not because I want to lord over them but because then we get to spend more time on the fun stuff.
       Focus is worship. What we focus on is what we are worshiping.  Just like my desire to get to the fun stuff with my kids God desires to show us His lavish love.  We will miss it if we take our eyes off Him and focus on the trial or hard thing happening.  There is always something wonderful God is doing to show you His love.  It could be healing Cancer in some one we love or it might not be huge. It might just be that you prayed over your laundry soap and you are convinced that it is lasting longer that it should.
  Lately God has been whispering to me to check my focus.  There are a number of difficult circumstances at our door and I have been extremely tempted to take my focus of God and hone it in on what is going "wrong."  The crazy part is its not that hard to make the switch.  You just have to choose it.  If you don't even what to choose it you can ask God to fix your "want to" and He will because to worship Him in spirit and truth is His desire for you.
     I just wanted to pass on the visual of our focus being worship.  What is your focus today?  What or who are you worshiping. We know that if we give it whole heart/mind focus to God he will direct our steps!

EAT UP

     Feeding our kids.  Man, this can be so tough especially if you have a kid that bucks your system. We have been fortunate to get 2 that eat well.  We do have one that doesn't like to try new things, doesn't want food to touch (ever) and puts up a fight often.  Our house rules are you eat what we give you or you don't eat.  We have had all of our kids at different times challenge our resolve and go at least 3 meals without eating.  Before you gasp remember that God gave us the role as parent and often with food issues the kids are rebelling against the authority God has given us over them.  Its good for us to teach our little sinners to obey weather they like it or not.  A lesson they will surely use in their lives to come as we have.
     That is our take on food and picky eating.  To each their own.  I wanted to give that back round because I don't think my new discovery would have been such a hit if our kids were used to picking and choosing what they eat.

      The last few nights I have been doing veggies like this.  I put the plate in the middle of the table and they can eat as much as they want.  I think the novelty of getting to just grab it when ever they want in the meal has been really fun for them.  Each meal that I have done this there hasn't been one single thing left on the veggie plate.
     Just wanted to share in case it would be encouraging for you and yours to get their veggies.

HAPPY MEAL TIME!

1 King =2 Twin

Check this out! if you cut a king size comforter in half then you can hem it and make 2 twin comforters! Our boys have fun character sheets and now matching comforters! Yay for using what you have to make something new!

JUST

     I just can't keep it in. I am not to full understanding about what God is teaching me right now but if I don't share some of the tiny nuggets I will burst at the seems.
     I have shared some of the trials my family has gone through. Mostly financial and if you compare it to others it would pail but God knows what gets us desperate and this is working.  I'm not talking about a God that enjoys making us miserable I am am talking about this God:

1 Samuel 2:6-10

“The Lord kills and makes alive;
He brings down to the grave and brings up.
⁷ The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
He brings low and lifts up.
⁸ He raises the poor from the dust
And lifts the beggar from the ash heap,
To set them among princes
And make them inherit the throne of glory.

“For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
And He has set the world upon them.
⁹ He will guard the feet of His saints,
But the wicked shall be silent in darkness.
“For by strength no man shall prevail.
¹⁰ The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken in pieces;
From heaven He will thunder against them.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth.

     He is in charge in control and involved in all we go through. Roman's 8:28 is the only thing that makes it OK with my soul. 

     So here is what I am learning. There are season's for "looking" for the good in a situation. I think with this next round of hard in my families life its not that season for me. I believe God is calling me to abandon my own understanding completely (Prov. 3:5-6). When I go through something hard I often want to feel better about it but even that right now in my life is "my own understanding." Its a little scary for me to get vulnerable with Jesus and JUST TRUST HIM. Nothing else. Trust Him with my whole heart/mind. That means every time thoughts are suggested by Satin or others that are not in line with God's word I am to shut it down and trust Him. Sheesh, now that I am trying to articulate it doesn't seem as powerful as it in in my heart. Hopefully this encourages someone. 

     Is there something in your life that brings you the the brink of complete confusion and desperation? You can't for the life of you figure out what in the world God is doing and what good will come of it? TRUST. JUST TRUST. Offer your mind as a living sacrifice and weather you feel like it or not and choose to believe the truth of God's word. He will meet you in it with a peace you couldn't describe with all the words in the world. (and then you will struggle again...JUST TRUST AGAIN.)

Taking things one moment at a time. 

CALL

Call upon Me in the day of trouble: I will deliver you, and you will glorify Me. Ps. 50:15

Hebrew:
call: to call out by name
trouble: tightness
deliver: smoothness
glorify: to be heavy (numerous, rich, honorable) to make weighty, about with honour

     How often do we run to everyone or thing else first.  I usually know that I'm not going to God first with a day of trouble when I call a bunch of people to complain to or "ask for prayer."  I have been troubled in the past and called like 4 people, on different time zones and no one picks up.  God's availability and power to help is endless and often it can be the last place we go.  Just look at this promise.  We call on Him and He delivers and we get to glorify Him.  This is the whole point of the Christian's life this side of heaven.  I love that the Hebrew word for trouble is tightness and the result of going to God with it is smoothness.  Yes please! I don't have the energy for tightness!
     Now of course it matters the state of our heart that we go to God with.  If we go shaking our fist and don't put it down in humility then we aren't going to enjoy the smoothness that God is offering.  I have done both.  Often I go to God shaking my fist.  I have literally been driving down the road in the car by myself (not to long ago) screaming at God!  I screamed every complaint about the trouble we were in and then screamed at the truth He was gently bringing to mind about who He is.  I walked away from that car ride with a horse voice and peaceful heart.  I know not everyone is going to be as intense as I am but the same principle applies.  We get to go to God in our days of trouble and HE WILL DELIVER US!  He may deliver us IN the trouble and not from it but either way I'll take it.  I love peace of heart so much .  Today I want to call on the name of the LORD.  How about you?  Are you in a day of trouble that you need some smoothing deliverance?

  CALL ON HIM! 

AH FREAK OUT!

    Bear: 

"Mom, why do you make those canbases" (canvases)

     Great question kid! I told him that it was because when I am doing it I feel like I am doing something God created me to do. That may sound a little cheesy but let me explain.  Its not the painting per say its the worship.  The canvas and the paint and my letter styles and placement is the fun outlet but I was CREATED TO WORSHIP MY GOD!

     Yesterday I freak out!  I mean lost it.  Paul has been volunteering at our local Fire Station for 2 1/2 years.  His first day was the night Abi was born.  We have sacrificed as a family and he has worked so hard to get his EMT and all the training and time under his belt to even be in a position to apply for the hiring that is about to take place.  It could be the end (or some relief) to a very long stressful financially unsecured time for us.  So, of course "him getting the job" has been an idol that has fought hard to get on my heat!  I have beat it into submission over and over by God's grace but it keeps getting back up as idol's often do.  Paul got the phone call yesterday that he has an interview!  You would think I would be ecstatic.  No, I freaked out.  At first I was happy then I got angry.  Thoughts of I better not get my hopes up because God is just going to slam that door in our faces again.  YUCK!  Its true I was so rude in my heart with the Lord.  I knew this attitude wasn't OK but on the real its how I felt.  Granted I am hormonal and sick, not a good time to be processing life but process I tried.  I ended up lashing out at my family over stupid stuff.  At one point Paul came back in the room and said, "Is it safe to come out."  He was so gracious with me an even snuggled me while I cried and told him I don't know how to handle this.  He gave sound encouragement and we moved on with our day.  My man's words were good but I also wanted to hear from the LORD on how to handle the next few weeks. 

     This is Romans 12:12.  This is also the answer God gave me. The reason I want to share it is because its not just for me and my unique trial.  Its for everyone that loves Him.  Its for you reading this and it applies to what ever your current trial is.  I looked up all the Greek definitions to all the words and it could also read like this:

      I am to be, calmly happy in expectation and confidence in Jesus. Don't try to get out from under the pressure He is allowing but while under it be insistent, constant and diligent to worship in prayer. 

     Oh right, so I'm going to say that is a far cry from Rage Mommy.  I said to Paul yesterday, "I want to go to bed and wake up in a month when everything is decide."  That would be a major red flag for not meekly saying, "Yes, Lord I will stay in this trial and know You more in it." 

     So, I am only as far as the "freak out," and then the truth to calm me.  Now its time to walk in it.  If you would like to pray for me I would shout: YES PLEASE!  I so desperately want to love my God more and not be so rude in my lack of faith.  He is gracious and knew my freak out before I did.  I know He will show me more of Himself to get me though the next few weeks. 

TRUST

     OK, as promised I'm going to be real.  I don't feel like getting up in the morning to do any kind of connecting with God.  It has been a few years since I have felt this way.  Our circumstances over the last years have brought me to a place of brokenness and desperation for God's intimate interaction.  I have enjoyed much of this intimacy like never before in my life and would not trade all the hard we have encountered for the places Jesus and I have gotten to go together.  I'm just not feeling it right now. My alarm goes off and I lay there.  Not even a hot cup of coffee is enticing.  I just don't want to get up and do another day.
     What have I don't about this dilemma?  I've gotten up anyway.  Many times by the sweet encouragement of my man reminding me that I need Jesus before the kids get up.  Even as I write this I am realizing that many a morning God has spoken to my heart even though I don't feel like hearing. Huh...Thank you JESUS!  So that is were I am at today.  I don't want to stay here for another moment. I have been meditating much on TRUST.  I have come to realize something from the very familiar and often glazed over scripture Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart lean not on your own understanding, and in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

Weather I "feel" like it or not trusting Him is the KEY!  It's the key that unlocks everything I desire.  I desire to have peace even if circumstances don't get better.  I desire to forgive constantly the offences of others.  I want to love those closest to me with God's love.  To TRUST God is the key that unlocks these doors.  What is on the other side may not be an easier life but it will be one full of love, forgiveness, peace and ultimately please God as we know that faith pleases Him. 
     So I don't feel it right now but I am seeing God work around me and through me anyways.  Faith is not a feeling. 
     I was talking with my life long friend Trisha Goodman and she was getting so excited about what God is doing to prepare us for who knows what and recognizing that the training is intense.  It was a good perspective changer.  I don't want a change in circumstance (for us that would be steady income) to have any place of idolatry in my heart. I want to worship God weather I feel like it or not.  Every day.  I have to TRUST Him! 

Little Mrs. FIX IT

    I want to fix thing that are wrong!  Or what I perceive to be wrong. I want to make things right.  The things that matter most to me in the world are relationships. So my desire to fix and my love of relationships have collided much in my life.  I am beginning to learn something incredibly freeing that diminishes conflict in my beloved relationships.  TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART.  Yep.  I asked God several weeks ago how in the world am I to do this and He is answering me.  I don't think it will ever be an all at once answer. The more I grow in the Lord the more I am OK with my sanctification being a process and not an event.
     So TRUST.  What does it look like to trust.  For me its backing off some in my "training"of my kids with there interaction with each other and people outside our home.  Letting them try out all we have taught and either succeed or fail.  Its letting my husband off the hook of perfection and just being his best friend even if I don't agree with every little thing he does in a day. Its when something in a relationship concerns me or seems off, going directly to God about it first. Skipping God and plunging into fixing it....that was the old way. Its time to walk in a new way. TRUST. What is God calling you to trust Him with today?

Sometimes their interaction with each other is beautiful. 

GIFT

I am currently sitting in the Louisville air port waiting for my Mom and brother to get here. There flight is an hour delayed so I have time to mentally digest 1 Corinthians. I listened to the whole book on the way down. I haven't listened to scripture in a chunk like that in a while. I love doing that because you get tje context of the entire thought behind scriptures that are highlighted by memorization.  Chapter 12 is all about the gifts of the Spirit. How they are GIFTS. I got a gift today. One that I couldn't get myself. It never once crossed my mind to take creadit for such a wonderful gift. If anything I wanted to brag on my man who some how (the whole family knows and no one tells) got me something of great value. When it comes to the gifts of the Spirit some how we look at them differently. As if we are something when we use them. Pride is a sneaky glory destroying tragity that we have participated in. The purpose of the gifts of the Spirit is to edify the body and and share the hope of Jesus with those who don't love Him yet. So He gives gifts for the purpose of love and we get selfish with them. We what to do what others do or we don't want to do what we know God has called us to. We put a value tag on one gift and consider another not as important. I think Paul addresses this when he repeats over and over "but one Spirit." Don't forget in all serving that it is never to elivate yourself. Never! I think if I checked this motive more offen I would enjoy more the things God has called me to.
     Here is the encouragement.  You that love  Jesus have a gift.  Find out what it is and use it to edify and evangelize (remember stay at home mom you have oppertunity to do this the moment your  kids wake up). Lets ask the Lord to truely be Lord. .like He leads and without protest we say yes Lord. When people do get edified and evangelized be vigilant to remember that all you did was bring the gift to the party.

Being Thankful

     My Mother and Father in love, Steve and Robin O'Brien, have been a major part of my growth in Jesus this last year. We all experience difficult times together and healing. What they have that I want is maturity and they live it out. They struggle just like any other but at the end of the struggle they always choose Jesus and trusting Him. As a result they have so much of value to pour into others. I love that I get to be one of those others. My Father in love writes these emails that challenge and administer truth. If you want to be put on his list just message me your email. 

Grand Dad and Abi at Old Kentucky Christmas

Here is one of his emails that really encouraged me today. 

     It seems that in the times that we should be most thankful we tend to stress and and think about problems and what we are not able to do. it is in those times that we should be most committed to be thankful for what God not only has done but will be doing for us. I am sharing this thought with all of you to encourage you to approach this season looking at God and not what may be going on around you.

Being thankful when it makes no sense

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV)

Seems like a strange verse to apply to the topic of being thankful, but in this season of thanksgiving and with the challenges of daily life that we all face,  I believe it is very appropriate. Let’s be honest at times we all may struggle with believing that God is going to meet our needs. Especially when we are faced with financial challenges that are exhausting our resources, all the while being overwhelmed by our circumstances. But the fact is God has promised to meet our needs (Php. 4:19) and to be with us always (Ps.23:4; 118:6; Isa. 43:2).

What I have learned is that trusting God is not a passive state of thinking, but an active and intentional act of our soul to hold onto every promise of God. Living and doing life with the expectations of God following through on His promises to us (which means we need to know His Word).  I make it personal because God is personal to me and I know that I am significant to Him. It is because of the promises that God has given us to hold onto that we can be thankful giving thanks in all things (1 Thess. 5:18). The key thing that I have to remind myself of regularly is that God’s provision is based on His glory, His timing, and His plan not based on what I think nor limited by what I see around me. This means that the economy does not limit God. My bank account doesn’t limit God nor does anything else. If I am surrounded by nothing but rocks God can turn those stones to bread (Ps. 78:20).

We should always give thanks to God in all things, not because of our circumstances, but because God is with us and has a plan to meet our needs.

Live as you are BLESSED, even if you don't feel that way.

--
Steve

In the THICK of it...I HATE NAP TIME!

     I like to post in the middle of a life issue.  I want you as my reader to know we are in this together.  This journey of loving Jesus, and that affecting everything we do in a day.  My days are filled with the blessed challenge of raising 3 extremely different individuals. I have Troy (almost 6), far beyond his years in some area's and very much a 6 year old little boy in all the rest.  As my parenting began with him I thought I was just an amazing Mom.  Which feed right into my pride perfectly since being considered a "good Mom" was a giant idol in my life.  After having Bear (now 4) who from the begging bucked almost every instruction given with out an ouch of care or repentance I realized much of my "parenting success" had more to do with my first born's innate desire to please.  My last dissuasion was thinking you could only get one strong willed child in a family.  Well, then came Abigail (2yrs. old).  We have referred to her as "she Bear" she has been stubborn like Bear but has this whole new set of emotions that I have never experienced in a child before. 
     Abigail has currently (during nap) gotten out of bed 3 times, hurt herself twice, had many pop pops and is now singing happy birthday.  She hasn't taken a nap in 4 days.  My first kid still takes naps at age 6.  Nap time challenges me. I find myself angry everyday. 
     I finally stopped today and asked the Lord what gives.  I hate nap time.  I don't like my children right now.  All I want to do is take an hour to do whatever I want with out being interrupted.  He was gentle but straight to the point. (which is why I have waited 4 days to talk to Him about it because I had a feeling He wasn't going to change my kids, but reveal something to me about me! Yay boo! But mostly yay cause I really do want to grow.)  So here it is. 
     Nap time isn't going to last forever.  Some day they will be awake all day. My expectations are getting me in trouble again.  It isn't to much to expect to wake up drink something hot, get in the word be filled with Him so that I can spend my ENTIRE day serving others.  That is a good life, well spent and full of blessing.  He also brought to mind the thought I have been thinking this Christmas season.  I realized I have made Troy our oldest, a kind of the standard that I measure the other two up against.  I trust I am not the only Mom who has done this.  I was thinking about the Mom, Mary.  Her first experience with raising a toddler was Jesus.  A perfect sinless toddler.  Right? I'm laughing too.  Cause as much as I would love to relate to that, I just can't! Imagine with me the whiplash in her day when #2 came along and his or her sin nature started showing up.  If she measured all her children next to Jesus they would have a miserable home!  

     God has been whispering to me to take each child one at a time all day long.  By "take" I mean train, show affection to, connect with, challenge, encourage, teach...individually.  I know this is parenting 101 but some where in being pregnant or nursing for 5 years straight I got into this habit of parenting that does not look like the Father.  I want to parent my kids the way God parents me.  He searches me and knows me. Doesn't compare me EVER to another.  He knows my laying down and my rising up. (Ps. 139)  I often have no clue how I am to parent each kid but the rad part is that you don't have to have your act together to be a "good Mom" you can just ask for wisdom one issue, or one day at a  time.
     In my furry  this afternoon I did finally stop and ask for wisdom.  I went into find Abigail under her mattress.  God whispered give her a reason to be still.  I genitally wrapped up here WaWa (stuffed puppy) in a baby blanket and quietly told Abi to please hold WaWa, that she hasn't taken a nap in 4 days and is so very tired.  I haven't heard a noise since.  Now does that mean it will work tomorrow...probably not but God has fresh new tricks and ideas for me for tomorrow.  I can trust Him for the wisdom and help I need tomorrow. 
     So there you have it.  I am in the thick of it.  I desire to parent my children as individuals. An ideal we planned on before having kids.  I know that God can teach me and that He will. 
     Happy parenting or being a wife or being a student or whatever you are doing today.  If you need wisdom.  Ask!  He loves to give it to us! 

JAMES 1

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

This me with my napless wonder! Abigail. 

Bear         Me         Troy

SPIDERMAN ADVENT

     We don't do the Santa thing.  Not because we have any crazy harsh "conviction" about it but just because we want the focus to remain on Jesus' birth.  For Christmas our kiddo's get 3 gifts (one from us and one from each of their 2 siblings +stockings) just like Jesus and we talk about how He has the best birthday. We tell them He desires to have our worship and obedience for His gifts but loves giving, so loves that we give each other gifts on His birthday. "So then who is that big red guy with the flying cows."  Troy asked last year.  Well, His name is Santa and He is a super fun Christmas character.  He is a fun make believe guy to celebrate another man named Chris Kringle.  Chris loved Jesus and gave gifts to people around this time of year.
      We all know that Christmas is a pagan holiday that the church chose to celebrate Jesus on instead. Just like Martin Luther used many bar toons for his hymns.  All that aside we focus on Jesus but I also love the wonder and fun I experience believing in Santa as a child so last year I started Wa Wa Advent. I did 25 days of the new stuffy sneaking out of Bear's bed and setting up fun things for the kids and holding part of our Christmas story. The bit of story is printed on a sticker so we add to the story a little each day and the kids tell the story with me each morning.

They had a blast! I did too until about day 17.  It was just over whelming to be that fun and by the end I had set this SPECTACULAR standard that I was feeling obligated to follow through with.  This is my own spin on elf on the shelf.  This year we used our little Advent door thing that my Parents sent us years ago up till day 20!  Which would be today!  This year Spider man is going to give us the rest of our Christmas story!

December 20th

     It is rolled up there in his hand.  I wanted to enjoy the come to life toy advent thing and not feel like it was one more thing to do and be sick of it by Christmas.  I also knew it was going to be possible that I would have a lot of canvas orders to fill, I did.  Now its time to be fun whimsical Christmas focused Mom.  I love my job! 

December 21st

     Troy wasn't home this morning so Bear and Abi agreed to leave Spidy until he got home from Granny's. Once we got Spidy down I placed him in the window sill that you can see there behind Bear. Just so I knew were he was for the next morning. Bear went and got every Batman he owns and piled them up. I asked what he was doing and he said, "I want Spider Man to make my Batman's come to life too." 

     This morning my alarm didn't go off because some one must have messed with it. It was 6:15 when the first kid went to the bathroom waking me up! AHHHH! I rushed out to the kitchen. I had to be seeky to get things done and not be seen by the wave of bathroom going that happens from 6 on. I guess that window is the magic spot because The Batman's are being made pancakes! Little mini green ones! 

December 23rd

     Today Mike Puppy was placed with Spiderman to hopefully catch the magic! He did! Spidy and Mike are making Christmas Cards! 

December 23rd

Fallow up to ALL MY HEART

     Its been about a 2 weeks since I wrote ALL MY HEART.  No I didn't get it all figured out as much as the little perfectionist in me would love for that to be the report.  I don't think we ever get to get it all because then we wouldn't NEED Jesus for our every breath.  KNOWING WE NEED HIM is a much better way to live.  See, intimacy with Jesus is it.  Its the end all.  It is the purpose this side of heaven and for all eternity.  When I said I don't know how to trust the Lord with all my heart as we are commanded to in the word I knew the only way to remedy it was to know God Himself more.  Not more about Him, just Him.  I am pleased to report that He did it.  He walked me through crisis He was tenderly WITH ME when I stumble through bouts of anger and tears.  He was patient and provided the perfect encouragement.  Through people, through His word, through His word through people. Fellowship is so vital especially in times of wanting to shake our fist at God and then just dieing! OK, that's a little dramatic but I really do "feel" that way some days. ( Ps. pick your fellowship carefully when you are in crisis mode. Pick people who are going to give you truth only.)
     So all that to say, you guess it.  God is faithful and near.  He has provided for our bills and even rent will be covered by a week of work He has given my hubby.  We just found out that Paul is also still up for the EMT job in Louisville!
      One step at a time.  One moment at a time believing and taking God at his word.  I want to encourage you that believing God doesn't come naturally to us in our human nature.  There are things we can do to live more victoriously.  Remember that victory only comes after a BATTLE.  His word is the anchor we need to stay grounded when emotions are stupid and screaming lies to us in perfect harmony with the enemy of our souls.  Pray, talk to God about everything, David is such a great example of a man who was real with God.  We can be real with Him too.  This last 2 weeks I set my alarm a 1/2 hour early so I could let God have it and then rehearse His truth before I even got out of bed.  Its worth the work.  Whatever pressing into Him looks like for you, do it! Trial and suffering will not have an end while we have our breath before Jesus comes to get us. We can press into Him, know Him and live to the fullest even when the trials keep coming.

     Side note: Abi, swallowed a hair clip. I didn't freak out! I have been a freak out Mom in the past but as I am trusting the Lord with more of my heart this one kind of surprised me. She is ok, just waiting for the thing to pass.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE CANCER

     Some one can have cancer and not know it.  Often its not the cancer the person detects but the symptoms or side affect from having a life eating decease.  Similar to cancer, spiritually speaking is this sneaking little thing hiding in the corner or our hearts, unforgiveness.  As God has been building His truth into me we started with the foundation, GRACE.  I began to understand that all of my interaction with the Creator of all things is because of His grace poured out in Jesus' blood.  His blood flowed so mine didn't have to.  I explain to my kids once they can get it, that they should die for a lie or one act of disobedience.  WHAT?  Yes we should die for what we might consider to be a "tiny" sin. But GRACE!  So now that I am getting grace a little more its like an x-ray (or what ever they use to find cancer) and it is scanning every inch of my heart.  It has found some dark creepy corners infested with unforgivenss.  Dang it, and praise the Lord all in one breath of realization.

     So what do we do about it? FORGIVE. I am not joking. It is that simple.  As I was challenge over some specific unforgiveness this week, I sat down to do business with the Lord.  My inclination was that for me to forgive it had to be this big emotional experience. Nope.  It may be sometimes but forgiveness happens in the crisis of the will.  It is a choice not an emotion.  Similar to love.  I also know that I will have to KEEP making the choice. Picking old hurts back up is easy and natural. I have asked to Lord to quickly slap my hand as I know my tendency to go back to unforgiveness even after I have made the choice by faith to forgive.  I trust Him to do it.  There is much more to come on the issue of forgiveness but may I encourage you this morning to get vulnerable with God's x-ray (grace) let it soak into every corner of your heart and reveal any unforgiveness you might have.  This life is messy.  Not a single person goes through it with out being offended and hurt by someone close.  We can't undo the past but we can forgive and not let the pain from the past shape our today. 
     ¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Col. 3:12-15 
     I was asked to do this scripture on a canvas and man has it ministered to me these weeks after I completed the order. Like I said, this is not conclusive just as far as I can articulate so far as I learn more about the life giving, bondage braking choice to forgive. 

This was the canvas. Its kind of rad that I
am getting paid to have my spiritual
butt kicked by life giving truth! I'll take it! Good one Lord.

THIS LOVE THING

   

     I have been doing a study on my own since Woman's study at my church ended.   I go through different seasons of studying God's word.  Some times I'll do word studies on an area of life that I'm really struggling with or what ever the study is with the Ladies at church (last one was a Beth Moore).  I haven't done and inductive study on my own before and I kind of love it.  This is just a book with simple instructions to study a book of the bible one line at a time. You get to print out a book and then mark it all up with different colors and symbols.  This works really well for me as I remember much more if there is a logo involved!  Might have something to do with growing up as a sign painters daughter.  There are many ways to study God's word, may I encourage you that there is nothing more important in your day.  NOTHING!  In our busy lives if we don't carve out time for connecting with God in His word we wont.  Then we miss out on a vital part of ABIDING in Him. So, on to what I am learning:

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence:  If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.  Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.  And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. 1 John 3:18-23

     I love how the scripture says if our hearts condemn us!  Ah yeah!  I am just now getting grace to the point were my heart condemns me and I am able to say shhhhhh, no I am believing God and what He says about me.  God sums up His desire for us this side of Heaven, to believe on the name of His Son and to love one another.  Sounds simple but that encompasses everything in our everyday life. 

     To believe on the name of Jesus is not just, Jesus I believe you died and rose again is to surrender everything we have learned from this world and become like a child completely dependent on Him for training our thoughts and actions to come in line with His.  To believe on Jesus is to read the world and actually believe if or ourselves. 

     I have been pleasantly shocked at how in my own life as I have started really taking God at His word and this loving others thing has become so much more natural.  I mean real love, the kind that doesn't "love" to get something in return.  I have also noticed that when I BELIEVE on the name of Jesus in the every day nitty gritty instead of functioning in fear or frustration I am starting ask/pray boldly.  There is a difference in the request too.  I still ask for tangible things and we have some pretty major needs right now but its not the first thing on my mind.  I have started asking boldly for life giving things beyond food and housing. Like, healing, increased faith, humility, and harmony.  Guess what?  He is saying YES!  It is so EXCITING! 

     I want to encourage you my reader to BELIEVE on the name of Jesus for more that salvation.  Cast your cares on Him and see how He cares for you.  Then watch how when you believe Him, He works these other things naturally through that avenue of faith you have paved together.  Have a wonderful day. Even though you can't know exactly who is reading your blog. I have a deep care and affection for you my reader.  Thank you for reading what God is teaching me and know that I pray for you that if there is any nugget in here for your that God would highlight it and encouraging you. Have a wonderful day abiding in Him.