JUST A SLIVER

    I often desire to share when something clicks for the first time or more deeply that before.  I am referring to truth concepts.  Sometimes I see and hear someone express what they are learning in scripture  and don't have a clue what they are talking about because I just haven't had my turn yet.  God is constantly imparting His grace and understanding on us about His love for us as we seek Him. Yesterday I think I got a sliver of His heart towards me that I previously just didn't quite grasp.  The concept is God's interaction brokenhearted (Ps. 147:3).

Psalm 51:17 "the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart- these, God you will not despise." 

     In the past I would read this thinking why in the world would God like brokenness?  It seemed kind of mean and twisted to me.  I got to this conclusion about God because I was not yet fully convince of His goodness and goodness towards me personally.  My understanding of God's goodness was first challenge at age 11 when in my perspective He didn't save me from being molested.  That was pretty much the catalyst for a life time of wrestling over weather or not I believe Him to be good or not.  As I have continued to seek after Him and He has allowed countless trials I have become convinced He is good.  It is a wonder that He would use lack (financially) in my life to show me how I LACK NOTHING in Him.  We experience evil daily and it is easy to go to the place of thinking God had something to do with it.  He does not.  His only interaction with evil is redeeming us from it.  What a GOOD God.  The subject of God's goodness is huge so I wont try to unpack it all now.  As I have studied the book of Ruth and Paul and I are reading a book on God's goodness I have been over whelmed with a clearer understanding of His goodness.
     As to the sliver of God's heart and Psalm 51:17 I have to share a little story:

BEAR

TROY

In the mornings I have worked to train and teach my boys to get out of bed only once the Christmas light timer turns their lights on (as I type I hear the door cracking to early, lol), to get dressed, if I am still showering to start unloading the dishwasher and feed our puppy.  Yesterday morning my boys were on it!  I was so blessed to come out of my room to boys dressed in clothes, good attitudes and initiative!  As Troy was on the chair next to the counter putting mugs away, Bear had what we call a black out moment.  These happen with our sweet Bear in anger or creativity.  He seems to loose all connection with reality or his desire to make good choices.  Bear had his light saber and decided that Troy's chair was the enemy to be defeated.  I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.  Troy had a mug in each hand and in order to grab the counter so he didn't fall he dropped a mug.  We have tile floors in our new house so the mug shattered on impact.  It wasn't just any mug.  It was Mommy's new mug.  I had gotten a special mug and a special sharpie marker to decorate it.  I wasn't in the kitchen because I had been sent out. They didn't want me to see the kitchen until the job was done.  I came rushing in to find to faces filled with modification and sorrow.  In tears they both broke out with "I'm so sorry Mom!"  No blame shifting not explanations just complete sorrow over the offence of my mug being broken.  Here is were I was shocked and my response.  I could care less about the MUG!  I was so blessed by their responses even though the offence affected my possession all I wanted to do was cry with them and scoop them up in my arms and say I forgive you!  I didn't just that minus the crying because they don't understand why Mommy cries when she isn't sad.  I explained to them how much more I love them than my special mug.  We talked out how we could avoid breaking mugs in the future and the "I'm sorry's" kept coming.  I held each of their faces and said, "I forgive you. It is over."  As I proceeded with mug clean up my heart flooded with correlations between my response and God's heat towards me!
     I am so thankful that Jesus came to preach GOOD tidings to the poor and to heal the brokenhearted. (Is. 61:1)