A Science "Experience"

    The Lord has been helping me teach my kiddo's His truth in new ways.  For a while we would read a bible story and then act it out! They loved that.  The other day I did a "science experiment" Bear miss understood me and now calls an experiment and "EXPERIENCE."  I kind of love that.  Teaching through experience, as an adult I still benefit so very much from a good visual or word pictures.  This is a gift God has given many of our pastor's they give us examples to help the truth of God's word stick in our brains long enough for us to get out and live it! 
     So I wanted to share about our experience!  For weeks now I have been teaching and learning with the kids the sign language for the scripture 1 Cor. 13:4-8 

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

     So, I got a jar and a rubber band and had Troy snag 4 army guys.  We strapped the army guys to the jar. I asked the kids where does the love that we have been learning about come from. "God!" Bear shouts, good one Bear.  I explained not only does love come from God, but we get to love because God lives in us by the Holy Spirit. (Troy and Bear have invited the Holy Spirit to live in them and Christ to be their Lord) We need God to pour His Holy Spirit in us continually because we leak! 

     Next I took food coloring and had them shout out one aspect of love form memory.  "Its kind, It doesn't boast, always protects!" Every time they said one I would drop color into my big jar of water.  This was just a visual of how beautiful those aspects of God's love is.  So all those things are in the Holy Spirit and when we start to get crunchy attitudes with each other we can ask the Holy Spirit to refill us with love. AND HE WILL! (Side note: I usually teach my kids whatever I am learning so that its fresh baked spiritual bread!) I began to pour the colored "Spirit" water in to the jar in the middle of the army men.  I told the kids the jar was  me and the men were Paul, Bear, Troy and Abi. As the water filled the small jar they were excited but giggles broke out when it over flowed and I shouted look at all that love getting all over you guys! 

     Each of them had a turn to color their water and would say Holy Spirit please fill me so I can love my family.  Then they would pour.  It was exciting every time.  We of course had to contrasting it the nastiest thing we could think of.  Duke's poop (our puppy). How much more pleasant and refreshing it is to be refilled with the living water of the Spirit to splash love on one another that our stinky flesh! 

    I don't want to post about this as a "Ta Da!" Look how clever I am but as an encouragement to Mom's or others with little ones. Use whatever gift you have to teach them the truth of God's word in a way that there little minds can "experience" it! 

*We also talked about how the Holy Spirit refilling us might look different for each person. That God has given us gifts to love one another in different ways just like the different colors we used to color the water. 

His time is always BETTER!

        Our family started a whole new life yesterday!  Paul went off to work as a FULL TIME FIRE FIGHTER!  If you have followed along with our testimony at all you know this is huge for us!  It has been so strange that I haven't even known how to write about it.  Even as I type now I can't put into words what I want to!

Had to take Paul his sunglasses so we got to
see him on his first day at the Station! 

Union Fire Department

     As my heart settles into our new reality I keep thinking one thing, "God's timing is Better."  Paul said the other day that he is so thankful that God didn't give him any of the other fire jobs he applied for because it would have been easier to say, "I got it because of all my hard work." There is no confusion in our hearts that this happening was the Lord at work in our lives.

     Back in February when we were with out a home to live in Paul felt he needed to turn in his gear. He think it was appropriate for a him to run if he was homeless.  This was one of the hardest things we have gone through.  He gave up his dream and what he truly felt called to do because the immediate need was provide for the family and that would require working ALL the time.  That is what he did.  He found us a beautiful new home and work his butt off at a factory job with out know if he would ever get to pick up that gear again and do what he loves.  We were in our new home with his new job.  Sad about the loss of fire fighting but so very thankful for the provision of needs.  As God provided and things got steadier with our living situation Paul prayed about continuing to volunteer.  He felt he had the go ahead from the Lord.  He had hardly begun to get back in the swing of running and a friend told him that a station just up the road from our new house (Union) was hiring.  He applied, took the test, got an interview and got the job all with in 2 weeks.  It was just God's time.  The time He knew He would say yes almost 3 years ago when we first began this endeavor.
      We had so many disappointments along the way.  God walk through all of them with us.  He was the one that held our marriage together under such stress, He was the one who gave Paul the physical strength to press on, He was the one that gave me the emotional strength to keep going.  We did not do this last season in our live perfectly by any means.  There was plenty of asking God why and frustration and even anger with our Lord.  He was gracious and continued to draw us in just like a parent does with a child who doesn't understand a boundary or a training lesson.  In this last season I learned what it looks like (to some degree I know I will learn more) to Trust in the Lord with all my heart to forsake my own understanding.  I learned to obey and even enjoy obeying God's word when he says to honor and respect your husband.  God never told me this is what I want Paul to do.  He told Paul that early on but He told me, "Support him weather you know he is doing the right thing or not." EEK!
     So here we go.  We launch into a season of different.  Hopefully this is a start of a career that Paul will have for 25 years!  I would ask for prayer for our family.  Though this is all wonderful there are some major changes taking place and that will all ways require more grace.  Paul is going from working 6-7 days a week to 3!  He is now full time working a job were he runs in as everyone else runs out.  Our budget isn't changing much which is fine as it was never about the money.  But Paul will be able to work side jobs as he has such an open schedule.  Thank you to those of you who encouraged and prayed through this last season!  We are so shocked and blessed to be in this new one.
     We know that suffering and trials don't end here but I tell you what we also KNOW that God will walk with us through what ever He allows next for our refinement.

 

Fetch a Pail of Water

     I just wrote (Blog post "EMPTY") about this passage a few weeks ago as I was studying it on my own and then our Pastor taught on it today! RAD! 

John 2

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”

4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”

5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”

6 Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 10 And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”

11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.

      Jesus respectfully called His earthly mother, "Woman" signifying the shift in focus and ministry.  From her son to her Savior.  Mary's last recorded words in the Bible are beautiful and challenging all at the same time.  "Whatever He says to you, do it."  Often to put action to those words is to be uncomfortable. There was serious work to be done in filling those 6 pots.  Something like 180 gallons of water and at 8 lbs. a gallon they had their work cut out for them.  God didn't have to let them in on the work but if He didn't they wouldn't have been let in on the secret miracle that day either.  By God's grace He enjoys letting us in on His work.  To obey, may require us to do some mondain activities whether we feel like it or not.  Weather we can see the fruit of it swiftly or not!  AH, such a great message!  So the challenge was what is your water pot?  What do you need to do that looks ordinary and uncomfortable to be obedient? 

     I'll tell you what mine is.  Its stopping my agenda all day long and loving my kids.  Even thought I have 2 dishes left and I can be done with them. My pal of water is to stop and lead my child out of an emotional tantrum instead of yelling from across the room "get over it or get a consequence."  Its not being in a self-seeking mode but truly loving my family with out expectation of return.  

     There was a time of prayer after the service and there were wonderful prayers for the families of the fallen and marriage and so on and all I could think was, "I am so SHALLOW, I don't want to carry my pails of water!" 

     So, want to or not I have asked the Lord to help me and well up in me a joy in the "doing it."  I fully expect Him to say yes and empower me for the everyday tasked of being wife and mom. 

     What about you? Is there an ordinary, uncomfortable pal of water that you need to carry?  Is there something you know God is calling to?  I would echo the words of Mary and encourage you and myself today,

SNAP SHOT

 
     I have always loved taking pictures.  I love the digital camera's now and that you can take as many as you want and just delete whatever doesn't capture what you want.  I think most of us keep or post pictures that we like.  You don't often see a wall covered in terrible family pictures or the worst of the bunch.  We pick the best to put on display.  Normal, I do it you do it.  This has been said before but sometimes there is danger with blogs, face book and Instagram media because we see a snap shot in some one's life and assume we have the whole picture.  I bring this up because I am only ever able to share snap shot with you on my blog. There is a whole picture that includes wonderful things and terrible moments that go on in our home. I do strive to be REAL with this blog.  Paul and I are not perfect parents we constantly take comfort in the fact that God is gracious and faithful to redeem the things we are doing to screw our kids up.  Perfection can't be the goal as it is not attainable. Surrendering to and loving the Lord with all your hearts and teaching your kids how to do the same is the goal.  I just wanted to say that before I share a SNAP SHOT of something cool God is doing in our home right now.

Not our best family shot. You may notice there are no children in
 the shot they are there and one is screaming about having to stop
playing to take a picture. The whole family time in the snow
ended right after this as attitudes tanked. 

    I recently attended a woman's conference and the last speaker of the day hit me square between the eyes!  The truth and the way she shared it met me right were I was at.  I walked away strengthened for the life God has called me to.  I got to talk to her for a second.  I had planned on giving her a canvas but ended up with every book she has ever written as she just gave them to me!  One of them is called Beyond Bath Time.  If you are raising kids or want to one day I would encourage you to get and read this baby!  One of the question's she asked was what are you good at? How are you using that with raising your kids and be the mom God has made you to be, or something like that.

     Back to the conference there was a time when they played a song and a gal did the most beautiful sign language to it.  I felt a great stirring in my heart as she was signing...like part of me that was asleep for a long time woke up in inexpressible JOY!  I had forgotten how much I love sign language and that it is one of the few things that comes very naturally for me (also on the list balloon animals).
     My first thought with this awakened part of my heart was, "oh yeah I love that.  Maybe when my kids grow up I can take classes and interpret."  I began to pray about what to do with the incredible desire to sign again.  I say again because I have a brother with downs and was exposed to sign most of my life and learned it for my second language in high school.
     As I prayed and then read that question Erin posed in her book the Lord whispered, "teach your kids."  Maybe even one day they can have a play date with children who can't hear.

     So we got started!  We had already started memorizing 1 Cor. 13:4-8 because that is what Mommy needed to be working on!  We usually memorize scripture and make up hand motions, so this concept wasn't much different.  I got on line and found an great website with short video's of each sign.  Its called signing savvy.  They even have an app for my phone which I hope to purchase one day.  At breakfast each morning we eat and look up the signs for the next chunk of our scripture.  It is so rad how sign is often acting out what you would say with words.  So as I teach the signs I also get to explain the truth and give them ways to remember the sign with biblical backing.  This has brought such depth of conversation and fun into our little world.
   
      God creates each one of us on purpose.  He places in us talents and styles.  I will probably never be the kind of mom that bakes home made goods and delights my children with that wonderful experience on a regular basis.  I am the mom that makes homemade beef jerky to throw in there pockets and go on a hike up the creek!  One is not better than the other. In God's sovereign foreknowledge of what our kids will need invested in them He created us with styles and preferences.

In my natural bent of beef jerky creek Mom

     Having said that there is the other side of the coin.  Being willing to push past our comfort zone for the sake of others. My closest other's in my life right now are kids but this can apply to anyone in your life.  For example one of my dearest friends loves to bake with her girls and would love to do horses with them.  As I mentioned before I don't even think about baking on my own and I did do horses last week with my kids but not because I wanted to or even like horses.  I actually am indifferent about horses and they kind of scare me.

Not so natural Horse Mom

   
     So the challenge and encouragement is this. Is there something God wants you do in your life that is super natural for you and you could serve others with it.  And flip side, is there something you would not choose on your own that you need to be doing to love someone and invest into them.
     I hope you have a wonderful week and the Lord blesses you with many opportunities to love those around you with both sides of the coin.

STONE HER

     I love it when you struggle with something, work it through with the Lord and then He quickly reassures you of the truth on the matter, through His word!  This just happened with me from yesterday to this morning. 
      When I picked my kiddos up from My Mother in Loves house yesterday she was giving me and update on an events in someones life.  I couldn't remember who she was talking about.  So the only point of reference she could think of was a time when this person said something to me and I got so angry and offended.  Mom, couldn't remember what the issue was just that I was so very angry.  BAM!  Like a Mac Truck I was hit with discouragement over who I used to be.  This negative interaction took place like 5 years ago and I felt condemned like it was today!  I did used to get so easily offended which of course is rooted in pride but then when Mom brought it up I was soooooooo embarrassed....Hum?  Also rooted in PRIDE!  I was quiet destroyed over it.  I was so tired from the days events that all I could to was apply what our Pastor had taught on, on Sunday.  "We LEAK so we need to ask continually for the Holy Spirit to fill us!"  I did that laid down on the couch and took a good nap.  I woke up in grace and with my thoughts/heart screwed on strait.  I called my Mother in love and she re enforced the truth that God loves me, five years ago, He loves me now and that I am lovely because of His love for me.  Oh yeah! 
     I know that being slammed with sin of the past can pop up.  It could be sin we have already asked God to cleanse us of.  So how do we handle it?  Do we waste time and energy being embarrassed, or condemned over it?  Or do we remind ourselves of the truth of God's word.  We are all a work in progress that He delights to mold and shape until the day of Christ Jesus?  This morning I just "happened to be" in John 8 and just look at Jesus' heart towards us! 

John 8

Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, ⁴ they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught^[b] in adultery, in the very act. ⁵ Now Moses, in the law, commanded^[c] us that such should be stoned.^[d] But what do You say?”^[e] 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.^[f]

⁷ So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up^[g] and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” ⁸ And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. ⁹ Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience,^[h] went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. ¹⁰ When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her,^[i] “Woman, where are those accusers of yours?^[j] Has no one condemned you?”

¹¹ She said, “No one, Lord.”

And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and^[k] sin no more.”

Such GRACE! I choose to walk that out today, how about you?

SLOW IT DOWN!

     Slowing down is something I have desired for a long time. There are times I choose to not be so busy and here are times that God chooses that I CAN NOT be busy.

New house! LOVE everything about it! 

     Getting into our new house was not under the most pleasant circumstances. Four months prior my husband's temp job ended there wasn't work to be found even though he did all that could be done to secure work. Even got a few great job's just to have them fall apart at the last minute. God was moving and even though we still don't know all the why we don't need to. We know Him more through it and that is never something to complain about. So February was our last month in our old house. We got all our stuff into storage, cleaned the old house and then we were homeless.

Old house all packed up, not knowing what was next

Seriously!  The kids and I stayed with a friend and Paul and our beloved but large puppy dog stayed in Paul's truck.  It was an intense season for us.  My greatest fear for the last 4 years happened.  Here is the great part...we made it through. We didn't handle it perfectly but we did love one another through it and by God's grace we continue to love the Lord.  When we did find a house to live in (which is a really cool story too.)  All our stuff was in storage.   God gave Paul a job so we moved our belongings in over the span of 3 weeks.  It was such a simple time.  Not having our stuff was a relief almost.  All I had to do with the kids was read the 60 library books we borrowed and enjoy the giant basement.

Reading books, no furniture for a week or so. 

We were also all recovering from Whooping cough!  I'm am telling you it was intense.
     Life in our new home is wonderful.  I love everything about it.  It is still very month to month as the job God gave Paul does not pay all the bills.  He continues to apply to fire departments.  God is supplementing our income with the Abide Scripts business He gave me in November.  I have to say honestly I still wouldn't trade how I have gotten to know the Lord for more money.  It is the thing He has used to get us desperate for Him and when we are desperate for Him we get to be filled to the brim with life, joy, peace and every other benefit He so lavishly provides.  I wouldn't mind steady finances of course but I am done arguing with Him about His chosen method to get my attention/worship on Him.
     So those few weeks were slow and glorious.  Then all our stuff was in I had tons of unpacking to do and I got busier again.
      Then it was Easter.  This Easter we got to host our family at our new house! Hanging out, sandwiches and s'mores over the bonfire!  Yes, please!  The plan was wonderful and then it happened the worst ear ache of my entire life. If you don't know that is saying allot as I could not possibly tell you how many ear infections I have had in my life time. Tubes as a child and now as an adult I would say I have one every 2 months if not more. This one took the cake.

icing my ear before everyone came over for Easter

I was in so much pain that I could hardly function. I did manage to enjoy my family and take a few great pictures.

I woke from the pain by 11pm.  I had to move out to the couch as there was no way I could be quiet enough for Paul to get any kind of sleep.  My ear drum ruptured from to much fluid from my sinus infection.  My inner and outer ear were infected.  I ear drained for a week straight.  I have been on antibiotics and the pain is gone!  Thank you Jesus!  I have for now lost almost all my hearing in my right ear.  You know the one I use to talk on the phone and the one that makes multi tasking possible.  I never knew how wonderful a design God had made in giving us two ears.  It is really much more efficient than one.  ANYWAYS!  It has really slowed me down.  I can't have the water running and hear something some one is saying right next to me.  I have to stop completely to look at my kids and hubby's mouth when they talk to me.  I have to trust the Lord to make sure I hear the things I need to, to keep my kids safe.            
      The doctor said I may never get my hearing back. At first I panicked a little and then told the Lord I would trust Him with it for 2-3 weeks. Lol! That's how long the doctor said it could take to get my hearing back. Of course that didn't fly and the Lord has been challenging to  to not only trust Him but give thanks in ALL circumstances. Even though it is extremely inconvenient to not hear very well it is forcing me to connect with the people in my life better.  It is actually a relief with my processing challenges.  I don't feel as over stimulated as I usually do.  How could loosing your hearing in one ear be good?  When your God is good and has ways that are higher than your own.  I would never choose this but I am so thankful for it.
      I got to be apart of a women's conference this weekend. I was so blessed. I had a table and was able to sell canvases and take orders. I also got to lead a break out session! I had planned on playing my guitar and singing (tough when you can't hear to stay on key) God worked mightily in spite of my weakness and bonus I had NO confusion about WHO should get the glory!

My table. I felt terrible all day but God didn't
mind He still did His thing! 

This in my excited nervous face right before I
got to share with 30 or so women God's love
and truth! 

     So after this very long post (thank you for reading) I want to challenge you.  Is there something in your life that God is frustrating or causing you to slow down about.  I so often paint "Be still and know that I am God."  Those canvases sell like hot cakes because we all struggle to be still.  But when we get still we know that He is God and there is nothing that changes your life like having that knowledge at the for front of your thinking and worship! So what is it that needs to slow down? Are you thankful for it?

LOVE NEVER FAILS

   

     I have written those words on paper on canvas and now I believe God has written them deeper into my heart than ever before.  For about 2 1/2 weeks now the Lord has taken me through the darker corridors of my own heart.  It has been brutal.  I have been seeing my sin.  Things that maybe one else sees, maybe.  The one that has caught my particular attention and grieved me to the core is the sin of not loving others.  I mean I serve others all day long.  I'm a wife and a mom, a friend and a daughter so naturally there is ample opportunity to do for others but I have noticed a lack of love in doing so.  When I say love I mean the kind of love in 1 Cor. 13.  You know that chapter used in weddings and memorized by many.  The one I have kind of always glazed over in my life long familiarity with God's word.  A love that describes God's nature as He is love.  This love if manifested in our own lives might just change our entire human experience this side of heaven.  There is a blaring difference between God's love and my own.  A God kind of love has no EXPECTATION of RETURN.  This may sound super obvious but this week as I examined my actions and my heart motive behind them I was devastated to find that most often I truly am in it for my own benefit.
      Loving God's way is completely contrary to my own nature that I found its something that must be done ON PURPOSE.  For example, Love is patient. Patience is not required unless our agenda is being interrupted.  So then love handles interruption with patience or long suffering. I have never in my life suffered well for a long time ON ACCIDENT.  Love is not self-seeking again our human nature seeks it own with out even thinking about it.  Keeping no records of wrongs!  Sheesh, that's a good one.  So to love requires FORGIVENESS constantly.  I mean if I can't keep a single record then I have to let others off the hook even while they are offending or sinning against me! (Not that we don't set healthy boundaries. Forgiveness and healthy boundaries are two separated matters.)  Love ALWAYS TRUSTS! Always trusts who? The LORD!!!!
      This is my hope at the end of a revelation in my life that nearly devastated me.  Though it feels impossible to love like God loves us, it is possible.  This may be the greatest thing that Christ strengthens us for! (Phil.4:13)   If you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit you GET to love God's way.  It is a part of Him living in us.  A fruit of His Spirit if you will. (Gal. 5:22)  We can't make God's love happen through us.  It has to be that seed planted, germinated, growing strong and producing fruit. We grow in God's economy!  The Holy Spirit will work His love through us but we have to do our part.  In the past I thought my part was striving to act properly. Which of course is exhosting.  But you never see a fruit tree strive to produce fruit.  It happens naturally when the tree is healthy and it is the right season. (not saying there are seasons not to love just seasons of more maturity)
      So how do we grow a healthy tree?  Remember that we are the tree and not the Gardener for starters.  Stay planted in the rich soil of God's word, let the sun light of the Holy Spirits conviction grieve us at when we see our own sin.  When the light has exposed our darkness let Gardener draw near to comfort (Matt. 5:4).  Let Him tend to us and do the pruning necessary for maximum growth and fruit.  When we do pop out a little fruit again, remember who the Gardener is and without Him there would be no life at all.
     My prayer for myself and you dear reader, is that we would humble ourselves and love without expectation of a return. That we would enjoy the care of our gentle Gardener and continue to grow and bear fruit.

      LOVE NEVER FAILS. 

1 Cor. 13:4-8a

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

Gal. 5:22

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Matt. 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.

EMPTY

John      

2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. ² Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. ³ And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”  ⁴ Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”⁵ His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”⁶ Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. ⁷ Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. ⁸ And He said to them, “Drawsome out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. ⁹ When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. ¹⁰ And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”¹¹ This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.

     I love that Jesus revealing Himself as God was done like this.  He cared for this couple lavishly.  It was a big deal to run out of wine in that culture in that day.  Jesus not only handled it but He did so with humility and abundance.  Did you ever think maybe that newly web couple may have sold some of the left over for a high price as it was such good wine to help them as they began their life together?  Fun thought. 

      Some time Jesus allows things to run out so that He can deepen our faith.  He knows the timing in which He will provide and if we would dare trust Him even when it feels like something has run out completely He will fill it again with a miracle or sweet providence (natural events divinely orchestrated) in a way that we KNOW it was him even if know one else does.  We KNOW what He did because we KNOW how empty we were. 

     In verse 9 when the scripture says the "disciples knew" that word knew is translated to us this way: A primary verb; used only in certain past tenses. To see, to know, be aware, behold, and be sure.

     Its a verb!  Its faith in motion!  Go to Jesus with your emptiness an see how He will fill it.  I am not suggesting that it will be something tangible like expensive wine to enjoy or sell off every time.  There are times we are empty and the need is a job or a house or food but there are needs that we can't see as well. Trusting in the Lord with all our heart, loving the Lord our God above anything else, and tasting and seeing that the Lord is GOOD!   
       As we let God fill our emptiness, the next time we have something run out we know Who to turn to. 

     Is there something empty, run dry, or gone in your life? Go to Jesus and do what He says and see how He fills.

Determination

John 1:10-13
¹⁰ He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. ¹¹ He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. ¹² But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: ¹³ who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

          This is the Gospel.  We that have receive are ever familiar with it right?  As I have been studying this first chapter of John a word stood out to me.  The word "will."  My husband and I are in a time of life (and who isn't) when we desperately want to know what God's specific will is for us in some of our aspects of life.  So when I read the will of the flesh and the will of man, my ears perked up.  The word will in the Greek here is translated: determination, choice, purpose, or desire.  It was not our own determination that saved us from being condemned to hell.  It was Christ paying the price for our sin and us receiving the free gift of grace.  If that is how relationship with Christ begins for every person looking forward to Heaven, then why do we get off that train and board another.  What I mean is we begin in grace and then move towards works.  We are not alone in this tendency.  Paul wrote to the Galatians on the same issue:  Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh? Galatians 3:3. 

      Just as we are saved by faith we are sanctified by that same faith.  Webster states sanctification like this: the state of growing in divine grace as a result of Christian commitment after conversion. 

      

      So basic but as you may relate I find myself constantly trying to "better myself" by my own determination.  That only ever gets frustrated because my determination is in reality self-worship. YUCK!  We have to go to Jesus with our areas of "messed up" and trust Him to change and by trust we are propelled to do the our part in the work of change. There is nothing that I have found that motivates me to change like trusting God. Trusting God brings a PEACE that can face any ingrained behavior that would other wise leave you feeling hopeless for change. 

      The challenge my beloved reader is this.  Is there something in your life God started for change to make you more like Him?  Have you continued to work with Him in His grace or have taken hold of it for yourself with your own will of determination to bring about change?  Let's get back to the best thing. Trusting Him with our whole hearts/minds! I am praying for you today. 

 Where does our
help come from? Look up. 

MOM FILTER

     I have been a Mom for 6 years tomorrow.  When I first started out I was sick with anxiety.  I wanted so badly to be a perfect mom which we all know is impossible.  I wanted other's to think I was a "good mom."  This threw me into what I would call "ta da!" parenting.  I was a good mom, I loved my kids discipline consistently and had fun with them but I was living under this extra pressure that wasn't from God.  About 9 months ago God put a spot light on my "ta da" or show off parenting.  He helped me get over myself and thinking my worth was some how connected to my kids behave or how they turn out.  A common misplacement of value or so I have heard.
     Being a good Mom can become an idol that makes us a calm calculated parent in public and not so much that way in the home when no one is watching.  Being a good Mom can not be our goal.  The goal has to be obeying Christ.  When we parent with any other motive we start projecting standards on our kids that God did not intend.  Fear of what others think will never give us the clear mind to shepherd the heart of our little sinners.
     All that is the foundation of where I have come from in my Mom journey.  What I am learning now has more to do with my parenting with in the 4 walls of our home.  The place that God has given me to love, discipline, train, play, and laugh.  It is to be the safe place that my husband and kids want to be because they are loved accepted and cherished.  So what do you do when you feel like your adult world is falling apart and you still have 3 wonderful little sinner's in your home looking to you for stability, standards and fun?  There is no way to manufacture peace in and of yourself.  Believe me I have tried.  So the first step I have found  is to trust the LORD with your whole heart.  This is the first step in progress of every single life experience.  As you trust the Lord with the adult things going on you will receive peace to do the Mom job better.  There is no greater deterrent that I have found to being the Mom God has called me to than a storm going on in my heart. The only thing that has ever calmed that storm is TRUSTING the creator of heaven and earth!  Then you FILTER.  You ask the Lord how much of what is going on do you share with your kids so that when God provides their faith is built.  You press on with the day to day.  Even when what you really want to do is go to bed and wake up with all your problems are fixed.  You do the morning routine, you do the laundry, (for Me) you keep up with the lessons (home school) and play.  Never stop playing.  We are always going to have trials.  ALWAYS.  Christ promised it. S o play and laugh anyways.  When the storm brews in your heart in the middle of a good game of hide and seek, hand it over to Jesus right then and there. God cares about the things that trouble you and has a plan for your life to give you hope and a future. DIG YOUR HEALS INTO HOPE.  When you mess up and scream at your kids, not because they are that terrible but the issues of life (that you can't share with them) are weighing heavy and you just used your kids as your out let.  Apologize, nock it off,  and move on the the next task or just stop altogether and read a book with your little ones. These are not things I have mastered but by God's grace am growing in.

 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart

Proverbs 3:3

     This is how we do it Mom's. We hang on to mercy and truth. Mercy in the Hebrew is kindness and beauty. Truth= stability! STABILITY! 

     In my current season God has shared with me that my faith will manifest itself in stability with my family. I do not walk by faith every moment of the day but I am growing and I will brag on my Lord that He has done a mighty work that makes me look forward to, or smile if you will (prov. 31:25) at my future with Him. 

     Trusting Him is the greatest thing you can do as a Mom.  

BOOKS

     How we do books

     Some may think this is not a worth while thing to share but book play a big roll in our home so I wanted to share anyways. Its sad but I am gong to confess I did not start really reading to my kids until Abi came along. I had a friend encouraging me about reading books to my kids right at the same time as God was giving me a new identity. I have always struggled with reading, writing and anything academics so I just didn't read to my kids. My husband did and let me just say I love listening to him read. He does voices and accents. He makes it really fun. 

     I do read to them now almost everyday. That's the goal anyway because its not just the reading that's wonderful. Its the discussions on life that come with it and the snuggling close. 

     We also use books a buffer. If there is a crazy moment or Mom and Dad just need to go in the other room and talk or that crazy 30 min. before dinner. Every one grabs books and sit far apart and "reads". Troy is actually reading many words our of regular books now and the excitements is contagious! Bear is wanting me to teach him to read as well. Abi will sing any entire books to you by memory! (Mainly hungry Caterpillar) Books have brought so much joy and enrichment into our lives. 

     How we do it. Every couple of weeks or when I can see that the books we have don't hold their attention any more we go to the library. I try to time it with a story/ craft time but not always. The kids usually don't look at books at the library and I don't mind that. Our library has such rockin' toys and kid computers that if I was a kid I would gravitate to them as well. While they are all occupied I walk around the library and pick our 40-50. I don't put alot of thought or effort into it cause lets face it there is a whole rest of our day to live and I'm not going to read every book before I pick it. We use a suit case on rollers. I am a little embarrassed when I have 30 lbs. of books making the suit case wheels ever so loud on the tile floor but then I get over it. 

     When we get home we load up our book shelf. In our current home the kids have their special toys in their rooms. We have toys that belong to everybody down stars and no toys in the upstairs living room. Just books. The books are right by the snuggliest place in our house and a constant joy in our home. 

Our little book shelf

Mamo enjoying books with Abi

Busted took a book to the bed room :)

Blurry, but this is Paul and Abi
picking out books to read

Troy and Abi again 

This was a craft time at our library! I love the library! There
wasn't space at the tables this day so we created on the floor. 

     Oh, yeah....when we have library books in the house ALL other books are put in a box and up our of reach in a closet. I can't handle the stress of loosing a library book. Also the library books don't leave the living room unless a parent takes them to another place in the house to ensure a timely return. So that it. I post these "How we do it's," not to show off or say our way is the best, its just what works for us and if its encouraging to another I like to take the time to document. If nothing else maybe my Abi will be encourage if she gets to be a homemaker some day. 

FOCUSED

     If you are a mom you may have said this to your child one or a million times, "Please, focus on what I am saying."  You say this because you know that if you can give your direction once to a focused child you are more likely not going to have to repeat your self as many times (there is always the kid that forgets the moment they walk away no matter what).  I value functioning well with my children in the command and obey area not because I want to lord over them but because then we get to spend more time on the fun stuff.
       Focus is worship. What we focus on is what we are worshiping.  Just like my desire to get to the fun stuff with my kids God desires to show us His lavish love.  We will miss it if we take our eyes off Him and focus on the trial or hard thing happening.  There is always something wonderful God is doing to show you His love.  It could be healing Cancer in some one we love or it might not be huge. It might just be that you prayed over your laundry soap and you are convinced that it is lasting longer that it should.
  Lately God has been whispering to me to check my focus.  There are a number of difficult circumstances at our door and I have been extremely tempted to take my focus of God and hone it in on what is going "wrong."  The crazy part is its not that hard to make the switch.  You just have to choose it.  If you don't even what to choose it you can ask God to fix your "want to" and He will because to worship Him in spirit and truth is His desire for you.
     I just wanted to pass on the visual of our focus being worship.  What is your focus today?  What or who are you worshiping. We know that if we give it whole heart/mind focus to God he will direct our steps!