SLOW IT DOWN!

     Slowing down is something I have desired for a long time. There are times I choose to not be so busy and here are times that God chooses that I CAN NOT be busy.

New house! LOVE everything about it! 

     Getting into our new house was not under the most pleasant circumstances. Four months prior my husband's temp job ended there wasn't work to be found even though he did all that could be done to secure work. Even got a few great job's just to have them fall apart at the last minute. God was moving and even though we still don't know all the why we don't need to. We know Him more through it and that is never something to complain about. So February was our last month in our old house. We got all our stuff into storage, cleaned the old house and then we were homeless.

Old house all packed up, not knowing what was next

Seriously!  The kids and I stayed with a friend and Paul and our beloved but large puppy dog stayed in Paul's truck.  It was an intense season for us.  My greatest fear for the last 4 years happened.  Here is the great part...we made it through. We didn't handle it perfectly but we did love one another through it and by God's grace we continue to love the Lord.  When we did find a house to live in (which is a really cool story too.)  All our stuff was in storage.   God gave Paul a job so we moved our belongings in over the span of 3 weeks.  It was such a simple time.  Not having our stuff was a relief almost.  All I had to do with the kids was read the 60 library books we borrowed and enjoy the giant basement.

Reading books, no furniture for a week or so. 

We were also all recovering from Whooping cough!  I'm am telling you it was intense.
     Life in our new home is wonderful.  I love everything about it.  It is still very month to month as the job God gave Paul does not pay all the bills.  He continues to apply to fire departments.  God is supplementing our income with the Abide Scripts business He gave me in November.  I have to say honestly I still wouldn't trade how I have gotten to know the Lord for more money.  It is the thing He has used to get us desperate for Him and when we are desperate for Him we get to be filled to the brim with life, joy, peace and every other benefit He so lavishly provides.  I wouldn't mind steady finances of course but I am done arguing with Him about His chosen method to get my attention/worship on Him.
     So those few weeks were slow and glorious.  Then all our stuff was in I had tons of unpacking to do and I got busier again.
      Then it was Easter.  This Easter we got to host our family at our new house! Hanging out, sandwiches and s'mores over the bonfire!  Yes, please!  The plan was wonderful and then it happened the worst ear ache of my entire life. If you don't know that is saying allot as I could not possibly tell you how many ear infections I have had in my life time. Tubes as a child and now as an adult I would say I have one every 2 months if not more. This one took the cake.

icing my ear before everyone came over for Easter

I was in so much pain that I could hardly function. I did manage to enjoy my family and take a few great pictures.

I woke from the pain by 11pm.  I had to move out to the couch as there was no way I could be quiet enough for Paul to get any kind of sleep.  My ear drum ruptured from to much fluid from my sinus infection.  My inner and outer ear were infected.  I ear drained for a week straight.  I have been on antibiotics and the pain is gone!  Thank you Jesus!  I have for now lost almost all my hearing in my right ear.  You know the one I use to talk on the phone and the one that makes multi tasking possible.  I never knew how wonderful a design God had made in giving us two ears.  It is really much more efficient than one.  ANYWAYS!  It has really slowed me down.  I can't have the water running and hear something some one is saying right next to me.  I have to stop completely to look at my kids and hubby's mouth when they talk to me.  I have to trust the Lord to make sure I hear the things I need to, to keep my kids safe.            
      The doctor said I may never get my hearing back. At first I panicked a little and then told the Lord I would trust Him with it for 2-3 weeks. Lol! That's how long the doctor said it could take to get my hearing back. Of course that didn't fly and the Lord has been challenging to  to not only trust Him but give thanks in ALL circumstances. Even though it is extremely inconvenient to not hear very well it is forcing me to connect with the people in my life better.  It is actually a relief with my processing challenges.  I don't feel as over stimulated as I usually do.  How could loosing your hearing in one ear be good?  When your God is good and has ways that are higher than your own.  I would never choose this but I am so thankful for it.
      I got to be apart of a women's conference this weekend. I was so blessed. I had a table and was able to sell canvases and take orders. I also got to lead a break out session! I had planned on playing my guitar and singing (tough when you can't hear to stay on key) God worked mightily in spite of my weakness and bonus I had NO confusion about WHO should get the glory!

My table. I felt terrible all day but God didn't
mind He still did His thing! 

This in my excited nervous face right before I
got to share with 30 or so women God's love
and truth! 

     So after this very long post (thank you for reading) I want to challenge you.  Is there something in your life that God is frustrating or causing you to slow down about.  I so often paint "Be still and know that I am God."  Those canvases sell like hot cakes because we all struggle to be still.  But when we get still we know that He is God and there is nothing that changes your life like having that knowledge at the for front of your thinking and worship! So what is it that needs to slow down? Are you thankful for it?

LOVE NEVER FAILS

   

     I have written those words on paper on canvas and now I believe God has written them deeper into my heart than ever before.  For about 2 1/2 weeks now the Lord has taken me through the darker corridors of my own heart.  It has been brutal.  I have been seeing my sin.  Things that maybe one else sees, maybe.  The one that has caught my particular attention and grieved me to the core is the sin of not loving others.  I mean I serve others all day long.  I'm a wife and a mom, a friend and a daughter so naturally there is ample opportunity to do for others but I have noticed a lack of love in doing so.  When I say love I mean the kind of love in 1 Cor. 13.  You know that chapter used in weddings and memorized by many.  The one I have kind of always glazed over in my life long familiarity with God's word.  A love that describes God's nature as He is love.  This love if manifested in our own lives might just change our entire human experience this side of heaven.  There is a blaring difference between God's love and my own.  A God kind of love has no EXPECTATION of RETURN.  This may sound super obvious but this week as I examined my actions and my heart motive behind them I was devastated to find that most often I truly am in it for my own benefit.
      Loving God's way is completely contrary to my own nature that I found its something that must be done ON PURPOSE.  For example, Love is patient. Patience is not required unless our agenda is being interrupted.  So then love handles interruption with patience or long suffering. I have never in my life suffered well for a long time ON ACCIDENT.  Love is not self-seeking again our human nature seeks it own with out even thinking about it.  Keeping no records of wrongs!  Sheesh, that's a good one.  So to love requires FORGIVENESS constantly.  I mean if I can't keep a single record then I have to let others off the hook even while they are offending or sinning against me! (Not that we don't set healthy boundaries. Forgiveness and healthy boundaries are two separated matters.)  Love ALWAYS TRUSTS! Always trusts who? The LORD!!!!
      This is my hope at the end of a revelation in my life that nearly devastated me.  Though it feels impossible to love like God loves us, it is possible.  This may be the greatest thing that Christ strengthens us for! (Phil.4:13)   If you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit you GET to love God's way.  It is a part of Him living in us.  A fruit of His Spirit if you will. (Gal. 5:22)  We can't make God's love happen through us.  It has to be that seed planted, germinated, growing strong and producing fruit. We grow in God's economy!  The Holy Spirit will work His love through us but we have to do our part.  In the past I thought my part was striving to act properly. Which of course is exhosting.  But you never see a fruit tree strive to produce fruit.  It happens naturally when the tree is healthy and it is the right season. (not saying there are seasons not to love just seasons of more maturity)
      So how do we grow a healthy tree?  Remember that we are the tree and not the Gardener for starters.  Stay planted in the rich soil of God's word, let the sun light of the Holy Spirits conviction grieve us at when we see our own sin.  When the light has exposed our darkness let Gardener draw near to comfort (Matt. 5:4).  Let Him tend to us and do the pruning necessary for maximum growth and fruit.  When we do pop out a little fruit again, remember who the Gardener is and without Him there would be no life at all.
     My prayer for myself and you dear reader, is that we would humble ourselves and love without expectation of a return. That we would enjoy the care of our gentle Gardener and continue to grow and bear fruit.

      LOVE NEVER FAILS. 

1 Cor. 13:4-8a

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

Gal. 5:22

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Matt. 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.

EMPTY

John      

2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. ² Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. ³ And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”  ⁴ Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”⁵ His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”⁶ Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. ⁷ Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. ⁸ And He said to them, “Drawsome out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. ⁹ When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. ¹⁰ And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”¹¹ This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.

     I love that Jesus revealing Himself as God was done like this.  He cared for this couple lavishly.  It was a big deal to run out of wine in that culture in that day.  Jesus not only handled it but He did so with humility and abundance.  Did you ever think maybe that newly web couple may have sold some of the left over for a high price as it was such good wine to help them as they began their life together?  Fun thought. 

      Some time Jesus allows things to run out so that He can deepen our faith.  He knows the timing in which He will provide and if we would dare trust Him even when it feels like something has run out completely He will fill it again with a miracle or sweet providence (natural events divinely orchestrated) in a way that we KNOW it was him even if know one else does.  We KNOW what He did because we KNOW how empty we were. 

     In verse 9 when the scripture says the "disciples knew" that word knew is translated to us this way: A primary verb; used only in certain past tenses. To see, to know, be aware, behold, and be sure.

     Its a verb!  Its faith in motion!  Go to Jesus with your emptiness an see how He will fill it.  I am not suggesting that it will be something tangible like expensive wine to enjoy or sell off every time.  There are times we are empty and the need is a job or a house or food but there are needs that we can't see as well. Trusting in the Lord with all our heart, loving the Lord our God above anything else, and tasting and seeing that the Lord is GOOD!   
       As we let God fill our emptiness, the next time we have something run out we know Who to turn to. 

     Is there something empty, run dry, or gone in your life? Go to Jesus and do what He says and see how He fills.